Tag Archives: Joke

She Puts The “Ass” In “Asymptote”

A small cup of soda is $2.99,

A medium pop is $3.50, and

A large one is only $3.55

So I figure your mom costs a grand.

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All Keys Are Equal, But Some Are More Equal Than Others

I asked my mom, the keyboard,

Who her favorite child was.

She said, “I have no favorite

“And the reason is because

“I love all my kids the same.

“They’re all precious to me.”

And everyone believed her

Except the right “SHIFT” key.

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‘90s Kids Won’t Get This Joke

Dr. Pepper was hit by an iron

He recently confessed.

When asked how he was feeling

He said “I’m soda pressed.”

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A Blue-Blooded Joke for a Red-Blooded Folk

Of terrible jokes

This is but one of a myriad:

Both Picasso and the Princess

Have had a blue period.

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Greetings! Just Kidding… Spanish Lemon

He came to the comedian’s house

And said, “Gimme water, yo!”

I handed him a glass of hijklmno

Or, as some call it, H2O.

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Strong Feelings Abound

I wrote a knock-knock joke

And put it on my page

But no one wrote to ask “Who’s there?”

Thus: My impotent rage.

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Bikinis

One thing I don’t understand:

Why men who stare are loathed.

If a woman is ninety-percent naked

Men just look at what is clothed!

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Just Pause For A Second…

The difference between a joke

And a poem’s not the rhyming;

A poem’s funny if it’s true,

But why’s a joke funny timing.

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Now Things Are Getting Escalated

I have a confession to make

I’m guilty of a crime:

I stole a staircase yesterday.

I took it one step at a time.

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$ = q * ($/q)

I went to the science store

To buy subatomic particles.

It’s something I discovered

Reading “Modern Physics” articles.

They sold protons and electrons in

Small, medium, and large

But they just gave away the neutrons

Completely free of charge.

Bonus humor if you can prove how the title is fallacious.

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