Tag Archives: Joke

Another Cow Poem

Jared was still very small

When he saw cattle fall

Into a slumber, fast and deep.

With no reason or rhyme

Someone said “It’s pasture bedtime”

And so Jared went home and fell asleep.

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One Joke Too Far

I walked up to my teacher

When I was eight years old

And smiled widely and said this,

Or so I have been told:

“Why’d the agoraphobic sled dog

“Not eat the deluxe pizza on the floor?

“He was afraid of too much mush room.”

That’s why I don’t go to school anymore.

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Yeah… Not Inspired Lately

All these folks are making jokes

Like why was six afraid of seven?

So seven ate nine, that’s well and fine

But I’ve got a joke sent from heaven:

Why were e people

Afraid of the letter W?

Cause White people.

Haha, hehe, whoo!

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Share This Poem With That Special Person

A hero, a villain, and an idiot

Were writing a poem together.

The hero said “I think we should

“Write of love to my girlfriend, Heather.”

The villain said, “I think instead

“We write about someone who died.”

Then they turned to you and said together:

“Why don’t you decide?”

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Troubleshooting

This year I’ve devoted a considerable portion of time to two activities: Dating, and IT support. While normally doing both of these at the same time decreases the enjoyment in both activities, I’ve realized the two have a lot more in common than one might think. For example:

1. Bars are not good places to look for women or computers.

2. Most things you can’t recover from occur because of memory failures.

3. While tempting, upgrading to newer models is expensive and prone to supply shortages.

4. You will be appreciated for your people skills, not your technical expertise.

5. If you need to look up answers in a book, do it when you’re alone.

6. If something is smoking and/or leaking fluid, RUN!

7. You can know how things work, but you’ll rarely know why.

8. You sound smart if you notice incremental changes in appearance.

9. Nobody wants to hear graphic details (or details about graphics).

10. Most of the time you screw up, the error message comes too late to fix anything.

And the ultimate key:

11. When in doubt, make sure it’s turned on.

Also, the more energy you put in, the hotter everything gets.

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Joke of the Day

Harvey Weinstein, Pablo Escobar, and Joe Biden walk into a bar.

The bartender says, “Let me guess… you want me to put it in my body or I’ll never work again?”

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She Puts The “Ass” In “Asymptote”

A small cup of soda is $2.99,

A medium pop is $3.50, and

A large one is only $3.55

So I figure your mom costs a grand.

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All Keys Are Equal, But Some Are More Equal Than Others

I asked my mom, the keyboard,

Who her favorite child was.

She said, “I have no favorite

“And the reason is because

“I love all my kids the same.

“They’re all precious to me.”

And everyone believed her

Except the right “SHIFT” key.

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‘90s Kids Won’t Get This Joke

Dr. Pepper was hit by an iron

He recently confessed.

When asked how he was feeling

He said “I’m soda pressed.”

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A Blue-Blooded Joke for a Red-Blooded Folk

Of terrible jokes

This is but one of a myriad:

Both Picasso and the Princess

Have had a blue period.

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