Tag Archives: Joke

Strong Feelings Abound

I wrote a knock-knock joke

And put it on my page

But no one wrote to ask “Who’s there?”

Thus: My impotent rage.

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One thing I don’t understand:

Why men who stare are loathed.

If a woman is ninety-percent naked

Men just look at what is clothed!

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Just Pause For A Second…

The difference between a joke

And a poem’s not the rhyming;

A poem’s funny if it’s true,

But why’s a joke funny timing.

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Now Things Are Getting Escalated

I have a confession to make

I’m guilty of a crime:

I stole a staircase yesterday.

I took it one step at a time.

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$ = q * ($/q)

I went to the science store

To buy subatomic particles.

It’s something I discovered

Reading “Modern Physics” articles.

They sold protons and electrons in

Small, medium, and large

But they just gave away the neutrons

Completely free of charge.

Bonus humor if you can prove how the title is fallacious.

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Guys and Dolls, Mother Russia Edition

I once went shopping at the mall

With a Russian guy and a Russian doll.

The Russian guy could reach the top shelf

But the Russian doll was too full of herself.

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Star Wars Episode IX

The stormtrooper lands

In Nairobi, Kenya

And fires his blaster

Into the falling H2O.

The Jedi asks the trooper

“What was all that?”

And the trooper says

“I miss the rains down in Africa.”

*Roll Credits*

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Four European Jokes

If you think you’re very nice

I’ll leave you this reminder:

No matter how kind you happen to be

German children will always be kinder.


If you read the first jokes

And your focus yet lingers

How ’bout the Roman

Who held up two fingers

And said to the bartender

“Howdy there Clive!”

Clive asked “Two beers?”

But the Roman said “Five.”


When France declared a civil war

At first we wondered “But what for?”

But thanks to the historically well-versed

We learned it was an argument about who surrendered first.



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Three Wholesome Jokes (Almost)

He started as a humble sponge

Used to being ignored.

Then he got famous, his ego grew,

And he became self-absorbed.


I picked up a hitchhiking balloon

Who was waiting at a bus stop.

I asked what sort of music he liked;

He said “Anything but pop.”


My relationship: I wanted to end it.

I told my girl “I want to be independent.”

In her right jacket-pocket

She had my photo in a locket

And said “You are… in de pendant!”

…So I killed her.

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She’ll Start Exercising In January

The lady on the internet

Wrote “5551618.”

I thought that was her phone number

But, alas, ’twas just her weight.

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