A small cup of soda is $2.99,
A medium pop is $3.50, and
A large one is only $3.55
So I figure your mom costs a grand.
A small cup of soda is $2.99,
A medium pop is $3.50, and
A large one is only $3.55
So I figure your mom costs a grand.
Filed under Poems
I asked my mom, the keyboard,
Who her favorite child was.
She said, “I have no favorite
“And the reason is because
“I love all my kids the same.
“They’re all precious to me.”
And everyone believed her
Except the right “SHIFT” key.
Filed under Poems
Dr. Pepper was hit by an iron
He recently confessed.
When asked how he was feeling
He said “I’m soda pressed.”
Filed under Poems
Of terrible jokes
This is but one of a myriad:
Both Picasso and the Princess
Have had a blue period.
Filed under Poems
He came to the comedian’s house
And said, “Gimme water, yo!”
I handed him a glass of hijklmno
Or, as some call it, H2O.
Filed under Poems
I wrote a knock-knock joke
And put it on my page
But no one wrote to ask “Who’s there?”
Thus: My impotent rage.
Filed under Poems
One thing I don’t understand:
Why men who stare are loathed.
If a woman is ninety-percent naked
Men just look at what is clothed!
Filed under Poems
The difference between a joke
And a poem’s not the rhyming;
A poem’s funny if it’s true,
But why’s a joke funny timing.
Filed under Poems
I have a confession to make
I’m guilty of a crime:
I stole a staircase yesterday.
I took it one step at a time.
Filed under Poems
I went to the science store
To buy subatomic particles.
It’s something I discovered
Reading “Modern Physics” articles.
They sold protons and electrons in
Small, medium, and large
But they just gave away the neutrons
Completely free of charge.
Bonus humor if you can prove how the title is fallacious.
Filed under Poems