Falling feather in the sky
Falls to where I sit
And talk to fellow bus-stop-sitters
Who think I’m full of shit.
I tell them how I went to school
And met my true love, Jenny.
Sure, my IQ was seventy-five
But I learned a pretty penny.
I learned that trouble walking
Can be cured by being chased
And I got to go to college
‘Cause my legs were no longer braced.
After university
I went to Vietnam
Where I learned about the shrimp business
And saved guys from a bomb.
I met the president again
And became a ping-pong star
All because, in Vietnam,
I got a butt-tox scar.
I met Jenny in Washington
And bought a shrimping boat
And thanks to handy hurricanes
My business stayed afloat.
My shrimping buddy Dan and I
Bought some apple stock
Which made me very rich, so I
Took a three-and-a-half year walk.
After that Jenny got aids
And made me raise her kid
And, having done everything else,
That’s exactly what I did.
I appreciate you listening
And so I’ll tell you thanks.
Also, I just saved you hours
Of Alabama-voice Tom Hanks.