Tag Archives: Parody

A Poem Is…

A vague sentence

Full of supercilious words

Spread out asymmetrically

Over multiple

Lines,

Rhyming

Optional.

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Ignorance Is Bliss

Our childish dreams are warm

Beneath the blanket of unknowing,

Our sensibilities secure

All thanks to lack of growing.

Dulcet and desultory,

With ease we are besot,

Avoiding the obstreperous

And things requiring thought.

We swim in tranquil waters

As our bones turn into lard.

Our brains become decrepit

As we hide from all that’s hard.

The deities of comfort

Sanctify our mindless chatter,

A lullaby to help forget

Our lives don’t really matter.

When hunger or reality

Force us, languid, to act

We choose harmony of feelings

Over cacophony of fact,

And thus have we who worship

Our mirror’s charming sheen

Learned to pray for ignorance

So that we may die serene.

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In Other Words, Nothing Alike

Life is like a romantic comedy

Except there’s more than one fat person in the world

And nobody finds love in an airport.

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War Isn’t So Bad…

We’ve walked among some Autumn glades

Just us and the wind from the helicopter blades.

Falling gently to the ground

Are a leaf and some limbs and an M16 round.

A quaint little creek

Glitters bright mountain green

And, despite all our blood,

Is still cool fresh and clean.

We came here to camp,

Found these meadows to walk,

Because some old men

Wouldn’t sit down and talk,

But we can take solace

And our hearts can still sing

All thanks to the peace

That our murder will bring.

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Texas Nursery Rhymes

The itsy-bitsy spider

Climbed up the water spout.

Down came the fist!

It’s guts went spilling out.

Out came the kleenex

To wipe the guts away

And the not-so-puny human

Just went on with his day.

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Guest Poem By JJ Abrams (Almost)

What do you call a shark with no eyes

Or an angel pouring red wine?

The answer’s big-budget

But in the end I just fudge it

‘Cause I couldn’t think up a punchline.

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You Pull Me Down (The Alcohol Song)

When my body is strong

And my conscience is clean,

When troubles flee

And there’s no pain to be seen

Then I sip you

And fade into the white noise

Until the darkness comes

And has its way with me.

You pull me down

So I can walk on water.

You pull me down

To kiss a killer bee.

I am loud

And damp and have a bee sting.

You pull me down

And show the real me.

Then I awake

And find my house is tattered,

My lampshade’s gone

And so’s my front door key

And on my arm

My blood says “Margueritte wuz here.”

I don’t know her

But I guess she knew me.

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