Super-Villains: The College Years

If I owned an evaporation ray

That could turn humans to ash

I think it would help motivate

My roommates to take out the trash.

——————————————————–

I had to write an essay

About why I deserve financial aid.

I wrote about the 10,000 horsepower

Machine gun-slash-jetpack I made.

They said “Thanks for your application

“But, alas, this year we can’t…”

And at that point I spotted an unlikely hero

And proceeded to kidnap their aunt.

——————————————————–

Well sure, I’m a villain I guess.

I act violently when under stress

And if I kill someone

And it’s not in good fun

I consider the day a success!

——————————————————–

I was failing Econ 101

So I put on my lowest-cut blouse

Snuck into my professor’s office

And sat on the pad for his mouse.

He came in and I said, “Professor

“I’ll do anything to get an A.”

Little did I know my professor

Had an evaporation ray…

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