Tag Archives: Evil

Honestly, Every Baby Name After 2007 Though…

I feel for baby Adolfs,

Judases, Atillas,

Who had to live entire lives

Proving they’re just vanillas

Instead of evil Hall-of-Famers

Whose names they now must share.

On the other hand, how ’bout some killers

Named Peyton, Taylor, Weston, or Blair?

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The Real Darkness Approaches…

Once a year we celebrate

The gruesome and bizarre,

The stuff that gives clowns nightmares

And makes wolves hide under cars.

We make light of the horrific,

Let go the values we hold dear…

We call this celebration “tax day”

And it’ll come in half a year.

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When You Don’t Fit In

I wanna be a henchman.

It’s  been my only dream

Since I popped out o’ mommy

And I made the doctor scream.

I wanna test inventions

Not safe for normal folks,

To be the head o’ suicide missions

And the butt of all the jokes.

I want a friend named Igor,

Or a dozen, or a horde.

I want to live a life that is

Too short to ever get bored.

I want to be a henchman,

A minion, grunt, or goon,

But I failed my test for Hensa

And couldn’t be certified as a buffoon.

Hence I am a villain,

Respected, hated, feared.

I still hang out with lowlifes

But my henchmen think I’m weird.

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Corporations Are Evil (Because I Want Them To Be)

“Corporations are evil”

I think as I buy my Special K

And hop in my Toyota

And drive to the YMCA.

“Corporations are evil”

Is what’s running through my head

While I surf Youtube on my iPad

From my new Sleep Number bed.

“Corporations are evil”

Helps me eat my Eggland’s Best,

Helps me get ready for work at Megatech

As in Prada I get dressed.

“Corporations are evil”

Is a truth you can’t deny

Because my friends say it on Facebook

Which means that so should I.

“Corporations are evil.”

Was that all I have to say? Check!

It helps me feel virtuous

As Wells-Fargo cashes my paycheck.

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All Lives But One

The folks who say #AllLivesMatter

Are undisputedly wrong,

And apparently have not met

Joffrey Baratheon.

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J-Pop Songs

They could be singing

Of murdering puppies

Or of the great pleasure

Of wringing your neck.

They could even be singing

“Go Panthers go!”

But sing in Japanese

And it’s catchy as heck.

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Starcrossed Nemeses

She was like a James Bond villain:

Charismatic, certainly,

And she had a pool of sharks

And talked nonstop to me.

That suited me just fine.

I’ve also got an evil brain,

But I’m the type of bad guy

With bad teeth who gets thrown off a train.

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