Nursing Home Rhymes

I’ve got dandruff on my shins…

That’s not where it goes!

Know I need some Head and Shoulders

For between my knees and toes.


To get 8 hours of sleep at night

I do whatever it takes,

By which I mean taking 10-minute naps

Between my bathroom breaks.


Twinkle twinkle little star

Way above my little car,

Shining in my optic nerve

Making me violently swerve.

Twinkle twinkle little star

On the badge of officer Barr.

I sang him “YMCA.”

Why’d he take my license away?

Twinkle twinkle little star…

Crap, I left my teeth in the car!

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