Tag Archives: Old People

Nursing Home Rhymes

I’ve got dandruff on my shins…

That’s not where it goes!

Know I need some Head and Shoulders

For between my knees and toes.


To get 8 hours of sleep at night

I do whatever it takes,

By which I mean taking 10-minute naps

Between my bathroom breaks.


Twinkle twinkle little star

Way above my little car,

Shining in my optic nerve

Making me violently swerve.

Twinkle twinkle little star

On the badge of officer Barr.

I sang him “YMCA.”

Why’d he take my license away?

Twinkle twinkle little star…

Crap, I left my teeth in the car!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

My Coming Out As Trans-Elderly

Thirty-seven dollars in nickels

Rolled into neat little stacks:

I’ll use them to buy some dill pickles

To eat for my mid-morning snacks.

I’ve got a compulsion to do this,

Though no logic yet as to why.

Perhaps I just want the grocers

To think of me as “that guy.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems