I saw you in your sweatpants
And your Hello Kitty mask.
Yours was the sort of presence
In which a man might bask,
But basking’s off the table
Even though it breaks my heart.
I’ll just have to admire you
From at least six feet apart!
Yeah you were hauling groceries
Into your healthy home
From which, save for essentials,
You could not, for some time, roam.
You made my dreams come true just by
Returning from the mart.
With this telescope it doesn’t seem
Like we’re six feet apart!
And when you spend your days inside
Just watching your TV
No one in your house wears pants
Which means there’s room for me.
I send you morse-code love notes
And order food for you a la carte,
Just my way of making contact
When we’re stuck six feet apart!
Now you might think I’m creepy,
That I’ve gone a bit too far
By buying you a drink
After the feds shut down the bar,
But no one will arrest me
Just for causing you a start
‘Cause they’re emptying the prisons
To keep the crooks six feet apart!
So smile on your Zoom call
And when you’re making crepes,
And smile most of all
When Amazon brings your new drapes.
I made you covet COVID
‘Cause it gave you the head start
That you needed to ensure that we
Remain six feet apart!
