This Saturday the mask mandate
Expires in my state,
So people must be healthy
Like the records indicate…
And yet today was Wednesday
And I will surely die, since
I took my mask off early
And I happen to trust science.
Tag Archives: Covid
I Hope This Limerick Ages Horribly
There once was a bat from Wuhan
Who bad people did some work on.
It got fed up one day
And just flew away
And just like that two years are gone!
Filed under Poems
Alpha, Delta, Omicron…
A kid with jelly on his hands
Picked up a DVD
And put it in to watch a film
On their big screen TV,
But yet alas, the dirty disc
Got stuck around halfway
And it repeated the same old scene
Even when they pressed “play.”
Then finally they’d had enough
And said “I’ve had enough,”
Pulled out the disk and wiped it off
Then did some other stuff.
A five-year old can figure out
When something isn’t right
To make a new plan without delay
And still have fun that night.
And yet the leaders we voted for
Have yet to grasp this thought,;
Instead they say “shots didn’t work…
“How ‘bout another shot?”
Filed under Poems
Trick or Treat, Seattle!
Normally on Halloween
I prefer to not be seen
Given that my costume for
The day is whatever’s atop my drawer.
Today, however, I wore the clothes
Of something scarier than all of those
Who think vampires or ghosts and such
Are terrifying. Not so much!
Yes indeed, they could not hide
The fact that they were terrified.
I was a terror they’d never seen:
A religious exemption to the covid vaccine.
Filed under Poems
Trust The Science
A while ago, a farmer
Would be thought a cause of harm
If he didn’t use asbestos
To fireproof his farm.
A while ago a woman
Who was pregnant and upset
Was told her pain would go away
With a tasty cigarette.
A while ago a baby
Was calm as calm could be,
Unbothered by those nasty flies
Thanks to some DDT.
They told them “Trust the science”
And “You’re selfish to abstain.”
So here we watch as history
Repeats itself again.
Filed under Poems
If You Didn’t Say “Word” After This, You Ain’t Black
I was in the white house and I was like “Hey
“Let’s inject everybody with some MRNA.”
And the people who know science was all up like “Nah”
But the uneducated populace was like “Vax up brah.”
I know you MAGA people be on Instagram hatin’
On how my administration is fixated on mandatin’
Figurin’ it isn’t shots but God who gives you redemption,
But my bureaucrats denyin’ your religious exemption!
Filed under Poems
Today’s White House News
Today a man who made himself
And all his staff exempt
From being vaccinated
Most audaciously has dreamt
That those who didn’t get a shot
That doesn’t stop the spread
Are somehow the ones responsible
That twelve more folks are dead.
Filed under Poems
How I Choose To Put Stuff In My Body
You know those ads that run late at night
Where the guy tells you how to solve life
By eating one teaspoon of Stuff every day.
After all, it’s how he found his wife
Even though he was homeless and 300 pounds
And rodents were all he digested
Until he discovered a miracle cure
That one night he just manifested.
It’s a powder with maca, ginseng, beluga,
Alabaster, carnuba, and chives
And though the FDA says it’s not tested at all
It will change many millions of lives!
Well the guy selling Stuff that the FDA doubts
Saying it will make everything great
Has the same credentials as the Covid vaccine
Which is why I personally hesitate.
Filed under Poems
This Haiku Says It All
I coughed on someone
Who got their Covid vaccine.
Why are they worried?
Filed under Poems
What About The Roads Though?
In the past twelve months, America
Printed twice as much money
As every American Billionaire combined,
Which is twenty percent
Of all dollars ever spent
Since 1835.
That money could pay off
All American credit card debt
AND all American student loan debt
Twice.
And so I ask:
Why do we need taxes again?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 