Tag Archives: Covid

Alpha, Delta, Omicron…

A kid with jelly on his hands

Picked up a DVD

And put it in to watch a film

On their big screen TV,

But yet alas, the dirty disc

Got stuck around halfway

And it repeated the same old scene

Even when they pressed “play.”

Then finally they’d had enough

And said “I’ve had enough,”

Pulled out the disk and wiped it off

Then did some other stuff.

A five-year old can figure out

When something isn’t right

To make a new plan without delay

And still have fun that night.

And yet the leaders we voted for

Have yet to grasp this thought,;

Instead they say “shots didn’t work…

“How ‘bout another shot?”

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Trick or Treat, Seattle!

Normally on Halloween

I prefer to not be seen

Given that my costume for

The day is whatever’s atop my drawer.

Today, however, I wore the clothes

Of something scarier than all of those

Who think vampires or ghosts and such

Are terrifying. Not so much!

Yes indeed, they could not hide

The fact that they were terrified.

I was a terror they’d never seen:

A religious exemption to the covid vaccine.

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Trust The Science

A while ago, a farmer

Would be thought a cause of harm

If he didn’t use asbestos

To fireproof his farm.

A while ago a woman

Who was pregnant and upset

Was told her pain would go away

With a tasty cigarette.

A while ago a baby

Was calm as calm could be,

Unbothered by those nasty flies

Thanks to some DDT.

They told them “Trust the science”

And “You’re selfish to abstain.”

So here we watch as history

Repeats itself again.

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If You Didn’t Say “Word” After This, You Ain’t Black

I was in the white house and I was like “Hey

“Let’s inject everybody with some MRNA.”

And the people who know science was all up like “Nah”

But the uneducated populace was like “Vax up brah.”

I know you MAGA people be on Instagram hatin’

On how my administration is fixated on mandatin’

Figurin’ it isn’t shots but God who gives you redemption,

But my bureaucrats denyin’ your religious exemption!

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Today’s White House News

Today a man who made himself

And all his staff exempt

From being vaccinated

Most audaciously has dreamt

That those who didn’t get a shot

That doesn’t stop the spread

Are somehow the ones responsible

That twelve more folks are dead.

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How I Choose To Put Stuff In My Body

You know those ads that run late at night

Where the guy tells you how to solve life

By eating one teaspoon of Stuff every day.

After all, it’s how he found his wife

Even though he was homeless and 300 pounds

And rodents were all he digested

Until he discovered a miracle cure

That one night he just manifested.

It’s a powder with maca, ginseng, beluga,

Alabaster, carnuba, and chives

And though the FDA says it’s not tested at all

It will change many millions of lives!

Well the guy selling Stuff that the FDA doubts

Saying it will make everything great

Has the same credentials as the Covid vaccine

Which is why I personally hesitate.

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This Haiku Says It All

I coughed on someone

Who got their Covid vaccine.

Why are they worried?

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What About The Roads Though?

In the past twelve months, America

Printed twice as much money

As every American Billionaire combined,

Which is twenty percent

Of all dollars ever spent

Since 1835.

That money could pay off

All American credit card debt

AND all American student loan debt

Twice.

And so I ask:

Why do we need taxes again?

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Only The Bullies and the Barefaced Have Been Seen In Public…

There once was somebody’s spouse

Who put on a burgundy blouse.

She said, “Some folks will ask

“Kindly ‘Please wear a mask?'”

But those folks never leave their house…

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More Inspiring Covid Stories

I used to dress in a suit and tie

And drive off to my job

Creating animated models

For my supervisor, Rob.

One day, Rob pulled me aside

And said, “Work from home, dude.”

I’m still an animator

But now I model nude.

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