Survivor: Now vs. Then

They used to be marooned

On an island, all alone,

Without food or water

Or even a smartphone.

Now 16 survivors

Have to stay at a 2-star hotel

With only basic cable and

Non-organic hair gel.

In the old days, the survivors

Would compete in feats of strength,

Rewarded for success by an

Increase in isolation’s length.

Now they have to listen

As someone reads offensive tweets

And try as hard as possible

To not cry from their seats.

I guess the type of people

Who can live outside the city

Don’t sign up for TV shows

And I think that’s a pity.

Now excuse me as I watch

Carsten, Miracle, and Regan

Compete for who goes longest

Without saying “I’m a vegan.“