Amidst the “What the heck?s”
About kneeling for anthems and necks
One man has consistently stood tall:
That man is Neil Diamond,
Who protested against crime and
Didn’t change his name to “Stand.” That’s all.
Tag Archives: America
Introvert Riots
Today I protested protests
By going to the store,
Putting items in my cart
Which I did then pay for.
I then departed quietly
And went back to my house
Where I tweeted “Peace and love”
Before I beat my spouse.
Filed under Poems
Well, That Escalated Quickly…
If someone stomps a snail to death,
Then snails burn down a city,
Why is that conducive to
Making people think snails aren’t shitty?
Filed under Poems
Biden Dirty
They see me Biden,
Debatin’
And rolling their eyes ’cause I’m so far past thirty!
‘Cause I’m just too far past thirty,
‘Cause I’m just too far past thirty,
‘Cause I’m just too far past thirty,
‘Cause I’m just too far past thirty,
I said they ain’t black
Like I’m not
Perhaps ’cause my mind is somewhat less than sturdy!
‘Cause my mind is leas than sturdy,
‘Cause my mind is leas than sturdy,
My mind is less than sturdy…
‘Cause my mind is leas than sturdy!
Sniffin’ the babies just for fun
While I say you don’t need no gun,
Tellin’ how our country’s run,
Then runnin’ my mouth when it’s said and done.
Tara Reade told some news site
What I did back then was not alright,
But poor kids are just as good as the white.
Good thing Bernie backed away from the fight.
Don’t worry if I’ve got some dementia
‘Cause I’ll designate yo job as essentia’.
Sure my kid’s salary’s preferentia’,
But CNN’s sure to bury the stench, duh.
I love having kids sitting on my lap,
I’ll do Zoom campaigns after my next nap,
You’ll vote for me despite this crap.
By the way, what the heck’s an app?
Filed under Poems
Good Clean American Cinema
If the Florida Air National Guard
Gets attacked by a suicidal croc
And they try to assassinate the leader
By using many a Blackhawk
Then discover the croc was Muslim
And they make a movie about it later
I hope they give it the title:
“Hella’copters vs. Allah Gator!”
Filed under Poems
There’s Still Time To Write-In Chuck Norris…
One world leader said
“Grab ’em by the pussy,”
But got elected anyway.
One would-be leader
Said “Don’t grab ’em by the pussy”
Before he did, so I guess he’s okay?
Filed under Poems
Man’s Best Friend Meets “The Man”
I was running with my dog
One Wednesday afternoon
When my puppy’s nose did spy
Malodorous raccoon.
Not the type to laugh at fate
My dog took up the chase.
Going zero to sixty in 3.2,
He should’ve won the race.
Alas, he turned a corner
Onto Lincoln Parkway South…
A german shepherd police dog
With radar gun in mouth!
I figured it was funny
Knowing the dog had snatched the gun
But funnier was how my pup
Went sixty to zero in 2.1
We got off with a growl,
The raccoon nowhere in sight.
I guess I should be grateful
That my puppy’s fur is white!
Filed under Poems
Not The Solution We Need, But The Solution We Deserve…
Thousands of New Yorkers
Are dying every day,
Yet no one has the courage
To step on up and say
“Send every smart-mouthed teenager
“Some radioactive Purell.”
We could have superheroes by now
But the government says “Oh well…”
Filed under Poems
We’re Also Live-Streaming Bird Songs And Countable Sheep
This is your local government
Now or pretty soon
Emailing to let you know
That we sanitized the moon.
Looking into space
Will no longer cause disease
So while we cancel everything
Go stargaze as you please.
Filed under Poems
