Tag Archives: America

Not The Solution We Need, But The Solution We Deserve…

Thousands of New Yorkers

Are dying every day,

Yet no one has the courage

To step on up and say

“Send every smart-mouthed teenager

“Some radioactive Purell.”

We could have superheroes by now

But the government says “Oh well…”

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We’re Also Live-Streaming Bird Songs And Countable Sheep

This is your local government

Now or pretty soon

Emailing to let you know

That we sanitized the moon.

Looking into space

Will no longer cause disease

So while we cancel everything

Go stargaze as you please.

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Made In China

Two Americans have died

From Coronavirus as of this date.

Also, 18,000 Americans

By the flu have met their fate.

That a virus 9,000-times less deadly

Than the flu can be this stressful

Is evidence enough for how

Asian folks are so successful.

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Raucous Caucus Talk

In Iowa approacheth

Democratic circumstances

In which the snollygosters

Can perform their verbal dances,

Each hoping to ensnareth

Those gullible and influential

For they see primary voting

As a big campaign essential.

The maladroits have moseyed

And the minor leaguers drowned

Leaving only malefactors

With the finest lies around

And the lucky folks in Davenport,

Des Moines, and Keokuk

Get to argue first about

Who’s the least likely to suck.

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Social Media

I think there are two types of folks.

Let’s see if you agree:

1: People who are literally Hitler

2: People who think just like me

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The American Way

You haven’t thought of pickles today

And you haven’t jumped a rope.

You haven’t kissed an armadillo

And you’ll never be the pope.

Your eyes aren’t orange like cinnamon

And you have a tooth smaller than your knee,

But if we voted for a different guy

You’ll probably disagree.

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I’m Just Gonna Let This Hang Here…

Swords have cross-guards,

Hammers have heads,

And NFL cornerbacks

Often have dreads.

Movies have releases

And novels have printin’s,

But why can’t Taylor Swift

Have some dirt on the Clintons?

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