I use to think that crack cocaine
Was a terrible social ill,
Until the other type of Coke
Reclaimed the top of the hill
By training its employees
That they should be “less white.”
If folks buy crack then c’est la vie
But to buy coca-cola ain’t right.
Filed under Poems
Yet another sign
That our publics schools suck ass:
They have a grading rubric
For a “creative writing” class.
Filed under Poems
Before your TV show resumes
Please watch this little ad
From a global corporation
To remind you that you’re bad.
And if our subtle message
Won’t subliminally take
Don’t worry. There are 14 more
In every single break.
Filed under Poems
In the future we will have peace
Just so long as we silence everyone
Who says we’re like Nazis
Because Nazis lost
And losing is for people who work
And have independent thought.
Also, Jews hurt the economy.
Filed under Poems
Private Johnson swam onto
The beach at Normandy.
I’ll not describe the horrors
Which that soldier had to see.
He killed opposing soldiers
Because command insisted.
Imagine how it would have been
If video games existed…
Filed under Poems
Our government in America
Is a lot of old people
Roleplaying as a nose with a cold,
Alternating whether the right
Or left nostril can’t breath
While helping no one at all.
Time for Sinuclear TM
Filed under Poems
Roses are red.
The worst sport is soccer.
Biden’s the pres’
Just like Rey’s a Skywalker.
Filed under Poems
He found the perfect woman
And he bought the perfect ring
And he planned a perfect marriage
For a perfect queen and king.
Together in the gardens
He knelt and asked, “Would you…?”
And she took a knee beside him
And they silently protested racial injustice in sports.
Filed under Poems
They made a bigger, safer playground
For the children at the school
And the big kids and the babies
Both agree it’s pretty cool,
And the makers cash their checks
For saving kids from pain
And the parents who know better
See the baby fat remain.
They made a kinder, gentler college
For the kids of yesteryear
Where thinking is discouraged
Because it sometimes causes fear
And the makers plan the lessons
And the students love their chains
And the thinkers keep their distance
And the baby fat remains.
They made predictable excitements
For the prisoners of money
And the watchers and the buyers
Say “That’s scary,” or “That’s funny,”
And the makers give themselves awards
For cutting with the grain
And the living have walked out
Because the baby fat remains.
They gave us safer deadly toxins
And harder automatic wins
And a tolerant sort of hatred
And more pleasant deadly sins.
The makers smile, their strategy
Entirely on track
Because the folks who have the baby fat
Are folks who don’t fight back.
Filed under Poems
Cheerleaders always turned me on
Since I was a boy of 10,
So when Biden got elected
I was delighted that CNN
And every major outlet
Of mainstream American news
Became unabashed cheerleaders
Shouting “Give us I, give us O, give us U’s!”
Filed under Poems
