Thousands of New Yorkers
Are dying every day,
Yet no one has the courage
To step on up and say
“Send every smart-mouthed teenager
“Some radioactive Purell.”
We could have superheroes by now
But the government says “Oh well…”
Tag Archives: America
We’re Also Live-Streaming Bird Songs And Countable Sheep
This is your local government
Now or pretty soon
Emailing to let you know
That we sanitized the moon.
Looking into space
Will no longer cause disease
So while we cancel everything
Go stargaze as you please.
Filed under Poems
Made In China
Two Americans have died
From Coronavirus as of this date.
Also, 18,000 Americans
By the flu have met their fate.
That a virus 9,000-times less deadly
Than the flu can be this stressful
Is evidence enough for how
Asian folks are so successful.
Filed under Poems
Raucous Caucus Talk
In Iowa approacheth
Democratic circumstances
In which the snollygosters
Can perform their verbal dances,
Each hoping to ensnareth
Those gullible and influential
For they see primary voting
As a big campaign essential.
The maladroits have moseyed
And the minor leaguers drowned
Leaving only malefactors
With the finest lies around
And the lucky folks in Davenport,
Des Moines, and Keokuk
Get to argue first about
Who’s the least likely to suck.
Filed under Poems
Social Media
I think there are two types of folks.
Let’s see if you agree:
1: People who are literally Hitler
2: People who think just like me
Filed under Poems
The American Way
You haven’t thought of pickles today
And you haven’t jumped a rope.
You haven’t kissed an armadillo
And you’ll never be the pope.
Your eyes aren’t orange like cinnamon
And you have a tooth smaller than your knee,
But if we voted for a different guy
You’ll probably disagree.
Filed under Poems
I’m Just Gonna Let This Hang Here…
Swords have cross-guards,
Hammers have heads,
And NFL cornerbacks
Often have dreads.
Movies have releases
And novels have printin’s,
But why can’t Taylor Swift
Have some dirt on the Clintons?
Filed under Poems
