Tag Archives: America

2020 Voters (And Europe)

I went to college and got a degree

And hoped it would get me a job.

I learned how to drink, put off work and have threesomes,

And be both a loser and snob.

I can write ten page papers with ten words of content

And get booze with no valid ID.

Now I’m an unemployed expert in horticultural psychology

And I think you deserve this for free.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

21st Century Facts

95 Americans contracted the plague

From 2000 to 2017

12 of whom have died from it

(At least that we have seen).

It’s amazing that all these years later

The plague is here to stay,

And that it’s death toll is greater

Than all-time ticket sales of the WNBA.

Sources:

https://www.cdc.gov/plague/maps/index.html

(Unfortunately there is no significant data indicating the purchase of one or more tickets to a WNBA event)

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

He’s The Best At Reverse Psychology

If the pro-lifers want to win

They just need Trump to say

“Abortion is a bigly good

“And also I’m a gay.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Yes, I’m A White Male. Why Do You Ask?

There are as many guns as people

In the USA.

There are more rounds of ammo

Than people in history.

Yet you think murder will stop

If guns go away.

Your method of thinking…

Now that is a mystery!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

White Men, 2019

One day someone was looking

At a girl with diamond earrings

And thought “hey, those are pretty

“But why not use frisbees instead?”

Thus was the beginning

Of the now-frequent appearings

Of those with earlobes larger

Than the brains inside their heads.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Imagery (You’re Welcome)

I have trouble sleeping now

Because I had a dream

Involving my first cousin

And a gallon of whipped cream.

If you don’t think that’s creepy

Here’s the cherry on the top:

I live in Mississippi

So my cousin is my pop.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

The American Dream

Imagine a world

With doubt, fear, or hate,

Where all have a warm bed

And a full dinner plate,

Where soft is the water

And fertile the soil.

Now let’s bomb that place

And steal their oil!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems