Tag Archives: Art

The Art Of Heisting

I saw a priceless piece of art

Hanging on your wall.

I dug a slit beneath it

Into which it could fall.

I shook the house forcefully

With a wrecking ball,

And now to find the painting,

Through rubble I must crawl.
It seemed a good idea

For thieving at the time.

Your house was so unguarded

And perfect for a crime,

And the painting was so beautiful

It’d sell for quite a dime.

Alas, my plan was vetted

By an unreliable mime.
So because of my planner’s silence

I made a lot if noise

With the pretense of stealing

Your super pretty toys.

I hope I’ll find a better partner

Among the orange-jumpsuited boys.

Ah, the art of heisting

And all its simple joys.

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Pottery

Pottery is a hobby

And an art form, in a way.

To do it, you spin a wheel

And use lots and lots of clay.

You stick the pot-in-progress

In a special sort of stove,

And you paint it different colors

‘Cause the default’s sort of mauve.

Once your pot is finished

You can fill it up with stuff

Like pebbles, beads, or flowers

Or all sorts of girly stuff.

Then you stick it where you’ll look at it

And feel the nostalgia

Of the day you took to potter

Instead of studying hydromalgia.

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Mona

I put you on a canvas,
Though a small one, I’ll admit.
I paint the oily background
Behind where you do sit,
And I say “parlez fromage”
And you smile a little bit.

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The Explanation

I try to make
Some cash to take
Home to my wife, Em.
I try to paint,
And good I ain’t,
Though the hotels take to them.

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Why I Failed Art Class

The sun shines yellow
Through the fluffy white clouds
That linger in a sky so blue.

I think it would
Be simpler if
It was all just green, don’t you?

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