He drew a pair of tentacles
And a rocket on its side
With a pair of spiny barnacles
Beneath a grey-black sky.
Barry shouts “it’s patriotism,”
And Andy says “That’s it!”
The rest of us just sit and stare,
And Laura says “well, shit.”
Tag Archives: Art
The Art Of Heisting
I saw a priceless piece of art
Hanging on your wall.
I dug a slit beneath it
Into which it could fall.
I shook the house forcefully
With a wrecking ball,
And now to find the painting,
Through rubble I must crawl.
It seemed a good idea
For thieving at the time.
Your house was so unguarded
And perfect for a crime,
And the painting was so beautiful
It’d sell for quite a dime.
Alas, my plan was vetted
By an unreliable mime.
So because of my planner’s silence
I made a lot if noise
With the pretense of stealing
Your super pretty toys.
I hope I’ll find a better partner
Among the orange-jumpsuited boys.
Ah, the art of heisting
And all its simple joys.
Filed under Poems
Pottery
Pottery is a hobby
And an art form, in a way.
To do it, you spin a wheel
And use lots and lots of clay.
You stick the pot-in-progress
In a special sort of stove,
And you paint it different colors
‘Cause the default’s sort of mauve.
Once your pot is finished
You can fill it up with stuff
Like pebbles, beads, or flowers
Or all sorts of girly stuff.
Then you stick it where you’ll look at it
And feel the nostalgia
Of the day you took to potter
Instead of studying hydromalgia.
Filed under Poems
Mona
I put you on a canvas,
Though a small one, I’ll admit.
I paint the oily background
Behind where you do sit,
And I say “parlez fromage”
And you smile a little bit.
Filed under Poems
The Explanation
I try to make
Some cash to take
Home to my wife, Em.
I try to paint,
And good I ain’t,
Though the hotels take to them.
Filed under Poems
Why I Failed Art Class
The sun shines yellow
Through the fluffy white clouds
That linger in a sky so blue.
I think it would
Be simpler if
It was all just green, don’t you?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 