My perfect girl is tallish,
Between 4’6″ and 6’11”.
She’s morally relatable,
Bound for either Hell or Heaven.
My perfect girl has two eyeballs,
Or maybe one or three.
They could be green or blue or brown
Or red. It’s all good for me.
My perfect girl has some fingers
And a near-equal number of toes.
I’m sorry that I have to be picky
But she must have fewer than two torsoes.
My perfect girl comes in all shapes
Yet all I seem to find
Are the 7’0″ five-yellow-eyed, limbo-bound, poly-torsoed
Asymnetrically-finger/toed kind.
The Daily Travesty 