It would be great to write a poem
About someone named “Heigl.”
What other name can be pronounced
To rhyme with Beagle and Bagel?
But all the Heigls that I know
Do not like dogs or bread,
So I’ll settle for “Smythe,” and rhyme
With Myth and Lithe instead.
Filed under Poems
The most important thing you do
As I parent I expect
Is naming your child in a good way,
So they will live a life that’s correct.
If your last name is “Handbasket,” don’t name your kid “Helena.”
If your last name is “Cummins,” don’t name your kid “Dick.”
If your last name is “Cox,” don’t name your kid “Maya.”
If your last name is “Shaw,” don’t name your kid “Rick.”
If you do these things, your child will be fine
As long as when your pregnant you don’t drink too much wine.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
The Daily Travesty 