It would be great to write a poem
About someone named “Heigl.”
What other name can be pronounced
To rhyme with Beagle and Bagel?
But all the Heigls that I know
Do not like dogs or bread,
So I’ll settle for “Smythe,” and rhyme
With Myth and Lithe instead.
Six months since I finished college,
Four years wasted I reckon
For I can’t remember what I “learned”
And waitstaff openings beckon.
So one afternoon in protest
I went to my front door
And laid down my diploma
Right upon the mudroom floor.
That autographed piece of card stock
Was not very useful at
Getting a foot in the door,
But it makes a good DiploMat.