Do I say I’m 5’11”
To seem as if I’m honest?
Do I say that I’m 6-foot-1
Because that is the truth?
Do I say that I’m 6-foot-3
‘Cause you’ll subtract two inches?
Or do I just say F*** it
And come off as uncouth?
Tag Archives: Online
Being Tall
Filed under Poems
Maybe I Should Quit Looking Online
My perfect girl is tallish,
Between 4’6″ and 6’11”.
She’s morally relatable,
Bound for either Hell or Heaven.
My perfect girl has two eyeballs,
Or maybe one or three.
They could be green or blue or brown
Or red. It’s all good for me.
My perfect girl has some fingers
And a near-equal number of toes.
I’m sorry that I have to be picky
But she must have fewer than two torsoes.
My perfect girl comes in all shapes
Yet all I seem to find
Are the 7’0″ five-yellow-eyed, limbo-bound, poly-torsoed
Asymnetrically-finger/toed kind.
Life Is Better As An Illiterate Monstrous Subrace Online
I was born into a social contract.
I didn’t choose it for myself.
It says that I must obey laws
And I can never be an elf.
It includes some pretty lousy clauses
Like “you cannot gramatically refer to yourself in the first person as ‘me'”
And “poems should have meter.”
That’s why I quit to play an RPG.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 