Tag Archives: Honesty


I used to be wealthy, handsome, and brave.

I used to be known as whom all women crave.

I used to be humble, witty, and wise

But then I stopped speaking in nothing but lies.


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The Honest Politician’s Prayer

I am a tree without a trunk,

A neck without a spine,

A car without a chassis,

A roller coaster with no line.

I’m an eskimo in Florida,

Someone humble in LA.

You’ve probably never seen me

And it’ll probably stay that way.

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Wherein A First-Time Internet Dater Realizes Honesty Is Overrated

I have no ambition,

Motivation, manly vigor.

I have very little money

And just three inches down there.

I wish I were more macho,

Richer, smarter, or just bigger

But your ad said if I’m honest

Then you really couldn’t care.

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Questionable Pickup Line #473

If you see a girl you like

And say to her “my name is Mike”

Then it’d be a real shame

If that weren’t your real name.

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Why Honesty Is A Dying Virtue

People these days

Are way too PC.

Take my friend (who for privacy

And rhyming’s sake we’ll call “B”).

B got offended
When I said “poop and pee.”

Even so, it’s still what

Her dinner tasted like to me.

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Just An Honest Reflection This Time (Plus Some Chihuly)

Getting up at 7:00 on a Saturday

Is the fate that awaits yours truly.

Maybe I wouldn’t have to

If I were a guy Dale Chihuly,

But I’m not an artist of fortune

Thus I cry “alack and alas!

“I’ve found my calling in bad poetry

When the real money’s in blowing of glass!”

So while my fate of rising early

Is sealed, as justly it should

At least I take heart in the knowlege

That the stakea are low if this poem ain’t good.

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Being Tall

Do I say I’m 5’11”
To seem as if I’m honest?

Do I say that I’m 6-foot-1
Because that is the truth?

Do I say that I’m 6-foot-3
‘Cause you’ll subtract two inches?

Or do I just say F*** it
And come off as uncouth?

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