Tag Archives: Grammar

Why Not .03 Per Cent? FALSE ADVERTISING!!!

Today I saw one per cent milk

And so I gave my mom a holler.

Turns it it’s just crappy milk,

Not 100 milks for a dollar.

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The College Athlete

As I jogged through the locker room door

Coach was shouting “This is what we play for!”

I said “What coach means to say

“Is ‘this is that for which we play.'”

I guess that questioning coach’s decision

To end a cheer with a preposition

Resulted in, so it would seem,

My no longer being on the team.

While you might expect, after my blunder,

That I hope, in my absence, the team goes under

I don’t seek vengeance for my woes…

And it’s “In my absence I hope under is where my team goes.”

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After Monkeys Throw Down

Monkey see monkey doo.

Monkey cleans up monkey poo.

Monkey reminds, for everyone’s sake

That difference a comma and an “o” can make.

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Or You Mite Be Letting Siri Type Four Ewe

If you prey at a alter

And like you’re time their,

You watch the news and think

That how the world works isnt fare,

Youve misplaced yor resume

But will happily give you the jist

Than you might bee looking four jobs

Via a web sight like Craigslist.

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Honestly, Get your Suffixes Straight!

If feminism means “go women”

And humanism means “people are good”

Then racism means “yay fast people,”

Or at least it should.

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Not For You And Me

Grew up in a place

Wouldn’t know

Where pronouns have no place

Or so said so.

Before call something

Might regret later

Know that shouldn’t

Be a hater.

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Why Grammar Matters

A world without adjectives

Would suck

But it wouldn’t be bad

Would blow

But it wouldn’t be sad

Would eat your soul

But not in a negative way.

A world without adverbs

Things happen,

People run

Other people run

Some are faster

But we’ll never know which.

A world without verbs

Blue, stagnant, 

Highly descriptive,

Shorter than previous stanzas.

A world without nouns

Write this if you dare.

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