Tag Archives: Pun

Why Mufasa Has A Handkerchief

Simba’s nose was stuffy,

And that became an issue

When the only Kleenex he could find

Was, alas, Scar tissue.

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On a Scale Of A-F, I’d Grade This An Rrrrrr

I knew a pirate captain

And boy, was he a putz!

He tried to hump his steering wheel

And complained “This is driving me nuts!”

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But If It Were Traveling At 4 Miles Per Hour For 12 Minutes How Far Apart Were The Hay Bales?

Once there was some type of snake,

A cobra, asp, or adder.

Since the story’s fictional

It really doesn’t matter.

This adder, I’ve decided,

Was in a farm one day

Sliding its limbless body

Between two bales of hay.

The snake was not observant

And it failed to look both ways.

‘Twas run over by the farmer.

And thus ended its days.

So when the adder rendez-voused

With its rural malefactor

We can say the adder

Suddenly became sub-tractor.

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I Just Rattled This One Off… Hope It Wasn’t Too Boa-ring!

The snake was made uncomfortable

And it gave a gasp.

You might say it experienced

A pain in the asp.

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My Worst Pun Ever… Turn Your Sound Up

If you’re brazen as a basilisk,

Audacious as a drake,

Cocky as a colossus,

Saucy as a snake,

If a wyvern wouldn’t scare you

And a wyrm won’t give you palsy

Then my compliments to you dear friend

‘Cause you are this.

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The Power Plant

They asked me “where’s the power plant?”

I pointed towards the woods

And they set out to find it

And claim its electric goods.

They asked me “where’s the power plant?”

And went off to the forest.

Now I picture them and laugh

‘Cause me they must abhorest.

They asked me “where’s the power plant?”

I pointed to the oaks,

The tow’ring cedar, stalwart maple,

Not intending it as a hoax.

They asked me “where’s the power plant?”

I pictured a mighty tree

Because a hundred feet of hardwood

Is a powerful plant to me.

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What’s Wwong With This Stowy?

I’ve been a priest for many years

With all that such entails.

I’ve heard the common people cry

And comforted their wails.

But when a man with a speech disorder came

To church my life got dire

For until then I’d never been

Preaching to the cwier.

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