Somewhere, in an all-gender bathroom,
The attack helicopters hover
At opposite ends of the row of urinals
Not speaking to each other
But grateful that the war is over.
I stand between them,
Pretending that I’m peeing.
In a nearby stall
The aardvarks howl.
Filed under Poems
So you know when you’re in public
And you kinda need to poop
So you go into the restroom
And kinda do a stoop
And pray that all the excrement
That needs to leave your bum
Will flow into the toilet
Before your knees get numb?
You wait and wait for seven years
(The watch would say 1 minute)
‘Til you let loose a bunny turd
And you say, “That’s good, innit?”
And then you do the little walk
Back to the restaurant table
And though you still have to poop
You also want to seem mentally stable?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 