Tag Archives: Men

Judy Rhymes With Beauty…

People who don’t think gender is real

May have a change of heart

Depending on if the person who says

“Smell this” is named Judy or Bart.

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Mistakes Have Been Made

You say you were gloomy,

For quite a long span

When you were a woman

In need of a man.

You say you were sad,

But that’s nothing but talk.

Think of fish without bicycles

Who instead had to walk!

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Men Made Playthings Because They Weren’t Born With Them

When I win a Nobel prize

For literature someday

And it comes time for me to speak

I know just what I’ll say:

I’ll thank my one Y chromosome,

And the reason that I’m citing

Is if I’d been born with boobs

I’d have never started writing.

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Forever Mine

I’m not afraid to make it known

I want this more than you.

I want to find a partner

Who is loyal, kind, and true.

I only want to have one talk,

A talk that never ends,

And to be more than lovers:

To be two forever friends.

I want you to have my kids,

To raise, protect, and feed.

I want to be your every want

And fill your every need.

I want to text you memes at night,

House hunt with you on Zillow,

And when we are a world apart

To smell you on my pillow.

Tonight and every night from now

I’ll wish upon a star

And ask whatever gods may be

To show me who you are.

Until the stars or gods or fate

Fulfill this wish of mine

I’ll work to be the man you want

To call “Forever Mine.”

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They’re Like Puppies, But With Testosterone

What if men who’re two feet tall

Are the physical ideal,

The epitome of manliness

With endless lust and zeal?

All the women saying

They prefer a taller guy

Have never seen a two-foot man…

True candy for the eye!

And although such small men are rare,

Precious and petite,

A man who’s 2-foot-6 or so

Is also really neat.

In fact, any guy beneath three feet

Is a slice of masculine heaven

Unless, of course, the manlet stands

Exactly 1’11”

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Just A Tip: Wait ‘Til All Is Revealed

Ladies: I am five-foot-two,

Bald, and overweight

With a salary four figures long

And a commemorative bowling plate.

Now sure, I know you’re thinking

“Does he know how bad that sounds?”

Well… if they circumcised me

I would lose 100 pounds…

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Ignore The Name… I Just Needed A Rhyme

“A picture’s worth a thousand words”

Said Arthur Norman Kuntz.

“Thus, women speak in imagery

“And speak mostly grunts.”

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Some People Get Paid Millions For This…

If you have a friend who is male

Here’s a game that will never get stale:

Find a sports team or three,

Guess who’ll win, disagree…

You’ll be right half the time without fail!

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Deuteronomy 23:2

Last night I read the Bible

‘Cause I was just that bored.

Apparently, “No one whose testicles have been crushed

Or whose penis has been cut off

May be admitted into the company of the Lord.”

So when you settle differences

With fists, and feet as well,

Just remember, a kick to the balls

Is literally a ticket to Hell!

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Boy Bands

If you play songs

In a rock and roll band

That includes no member

With a mammary gland,

Everyone has Y chromosomes

And speaks in few words

Then you might be a band

But you’re sure not The Birds…

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