Tag Archives: Weird

Bad Language?

Eye halve know aye Dia

Howe thoughs hoo dew knot no

How-to spellin’ English

Kant fig your it out, sew

Threw this Han dee poem

I salve Mai own dill Emma.

Hi expect, inn learning spannish

Their Will bee Noooooo! problema.

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Risk vs. Reward?

If you met a murderous clown

When you’re out for a night on the town

And they bought you a drink

What do you think?

Should you take it or turn Snuggles down?

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The Hippies Are Alive And Well

Sometimes I like to sit

And feel the wind between my toes,

To plant some seeds behind my ears

And see if something grows,

To boil a pot of water

Then cool it with my breath.

I call it “life with nature.”

Dad calls it “side-effects of meth.”

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This Is Closer To Reality Than I’d Like (And Yes, Niche Does Rhyme With Itch)

Sometimes I wish I were an itch,

An itch that can’t be scratched

So I could bug the ugly thug

To whom you are attached.

Then when you were single

I would steal away your heart

And just like that eternal itch

We’d never be apart.

But eventually you’d hate me

And the scratching I’d inspire

And you’d dump me for some other jerk

Of whom you would soon tire

Then I would swoop back to you,

Your faithful little itch

And maybe this time you won’t dump me?

What do you mean my fetish is niche…

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I Want To Be A Journalist Now

Some folks say women and men.

Some say females and males.

I say:

Some lives have a destination.

Some lives are about the journey.

Some people like kisses.

Some people prefer hugs.

Some are busy writing:

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Toes

There aren’t very many

Who do not have any.

There’s a few who have fewer than ten.

But if you meet the ten-plussers

Who seem proud and aren’t fussers

They are almost certainly men.

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Perhaps It’s Good Not To Remember Your Dreams

“Cyber chickens do not deserve Yolanda”

Was the first thought to pop into my head

When I sat down to write today’s poem

After exiting my way-too-comfy bed.

I don’t know the meaning of that musing

And likely it has no meaning at all

But if you are Yolanda do not settle

For a cyber chicken who isn’t on the ball.

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