Steve and Sharocco are tigers
But they are not alike.
Steve enjoys a day at the spa;
Sharocco likes to hike.
Steve likes Bob Ross videos;
Sharocco likes to knit.
But both love eating human flesh
So along they somehow get.
Tag Archives: Weird
An Unattainable Love
My breath smelled like a customer service hotline
So I set off to buy me a mint.
The vending machine said “Out of order”
But instead of taking the hint
I shook it, kicked it, bopped it, kissed it,
Took it to Peru.
Now it’s been 30 years today
Since it didn’t say “I do.”
Filed under Poems
Two Types of Difficulty
Is it harder to be a single mom
Made pregnant at eleven
Or to be a single mom
When you’re a childless man at 87?
Filed under Poems
When You Least Expect It
Sometimes you bite
A chocolate chip cookie
But it’s actually oatmeal raisin.
Sometimes you meet with
A girl you don’t like
But she’s actually really amazin’.
Sometimes you’re hired
For the job of your dreams
Which turns into something you dread.
Sometimes a cookie
Is only a cookie
But sometimes it’s a chimpanzee’s head.
Filed under Poems
Florida Man Goes Traveling
“Peculiar” is the word she used
Which made me just a bit confused.
What’s in any way peculiar about a guy
Who likes to eat burgers for lunch
With a glass of fruity punch
And, for dessert, has a slice of gator pie?
Filed under Poems
And You Thought No One Would Ever Love You!
I close my eyes, remembering
The day we almost met.
You were taking Cynthia
(Your puppy) to the vet.
You were glowing beautifully,
A tear drop in your eye,
And I was in my plain white van,
My third time driving by.
I almost parked, almost went in,
Almost told you my name
But I kept on making four right turns
And keeping things the same.
Sometimes I close my eyes and think
Of how we might have been
But it’s best for both of us if I,
For now, remain unseen.
Filed under Poems
Imagination Friend
They described me as a “figment.”
They told you I’m not real
Even though nobody asked me
Whether that’s the way I feel.
They told you to let go of me,
To let illusions end
As if it were no trouble at all
To walk out on a friend.
They closed their eyes and turned their backs
And said “You’re hearing voices.”
They gave you lots of pretty pills
And, lying, called them choices.
“It’s your imagination,”
So they said and so they thought.
They don’t know imagination
Is the truest friend you’ve got.
They’re offering a tunnel
Ending in a wall of light;
It’s up to you to say what’s true,
To help your friend, to fight.
Who’s to say you’re crazy
Just for seeing what they won’t?
They offer you your sanity
While I most proudly don’t.
So do you leave me lifeless
And go on with real living,
Accepting their reality
And chemical’s they’re giving
Or do you block the wall of light
And beckon me to stay
And live a life beside me
In a state of endless play?
To take the pill and up you grow
Or spit it out and smile?
Love, your imagination friend…
I’ll see you in a while.
Filed under Poems
