If you want your life to be
Super awesome, just like me,
All you need to do is prep
Yourself to follow my five-step
Method, starting from step one
Which is to have a lot more fun.
Step two is focus on your health
To be someone of fame and wealth.
Step three is saying “no” a lot
To things like drugs and tater tots.
Step four is once a day to eat
A snake no shorter than forty feet.
Step five is to make your bed.
Congrats! Now work until you’re dead.
The Daily Travesty 