Tag Archives: Success

I’ve Looked At Actual Books And Faces In The Meantime

Two weeks ago I left behind

A big part of my life…

And I don’t speak of small stuff

Like a job, a church, a wife…

I left behind the means by which

Most others at me look,

By which I mean the platform

That we know as the Facebook.

And since I stepped away from it

I noticed there’s a sky,

I haven’t heard “impeach Trump”

Nor been annoyed by those who try,

I haven’t argued even once

Or leered at female friends

And my days are nine hours longer

And I don’t care whom that offends.

My IQ’s jumped twelve points so far.

I may have lost some weight.

I talked a bit with strangers

At the bus’s boarding gate.

I went outside three times this week

And didn’t feel lame

And though some folks may still hate me

I don’t comment on their blame.

So overall un-pluggedness

(Or less-pluggedness if we’re honest)

Has made me ever happier,

Less pale, and a bit more modest.

Now instead of saying

“Here’s how my life should be”

To friends I haven’t seen in years

Now I can just be me!

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“Santiago Must Die”

They said I could do anything

If I put my heart into it

But after 17 years in a mariachi metal band

A part of me says “screw it.”

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The Quest For Common Sense (And A Wonderful Resource For Those Who Fail It)

I tell this tale and sing this song;

‘Tis neither short nor over long.

It is the tale of whom I met

When towards the darkness off I set.

I ventured to a fright’ning spot,

All at one both cold and hot,

And in its center stood the tree

Of personal responsibility.

And beneath that mighty central birch

I met a figure on its perch,

A lovely human, clean and bright

Yet I stood only half its height.

It spoke to me with radiant voice:

“To you I grant this single choice:

“To leave my grove, still safe and dense

“Or to eat the fruit of common sense.”

I looked again at the dreadful tree

From which grew apples, light and free

And with the hymns of wisdom fair

Filled joyfully the grove’s clean air.

And then I looked beyond the wood

To whence I came. Alas, still stood

Where man and beast were much the same,

Obsessed with power, sex, and fame.

To the glorious figure I did ask

What treachery hid within my task,

What fear and pain accompanied

The fruit of logic and its seed.

“No pain at all,” the figure said

Extending apples, smooth and red.

I knew not what was wrong nor right

But I grabbed the fruit and took a bite.

No longer was the forest bleak.

I couldn’t hide. I needn’t speak.

Where once the darkness clutched my heart

I only saw the world’s true art.

Where once I begged, now I produced.

Where once I guessed, now I deduced.

Where once had stood the figure bright

Now stood a mirror to my sight.

And yet the place from which I came

Sat glumly, still the very same.

I stood in brightness, stared at black,

And knew I never would go back.

So if you wander, wondering

Why you’re not pleased with your new thing,

Why your whole life seems second best

I summon you to join my quest,

To seek out forests rank with fear,

And from them soon there will appear

The brighter, lighter, clearer you

That knows and does what’s right and true,

Who looks at worlds of smog and spite,

Yet does his best and smiles despite.

Eat the fruit and so commence

Your brand new life with common sense!

But if back home you would return,

If common sense you seek to spurn,

If you treat dumbness with aplomb

You’ll find your kin at Facebook.com

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Mr. Mediocre Picks His Weekend Companions

Some people are winners,

Champions, doers,

Cheerful, successful,

Real woo-hooers.

Some people get up

At 5:00 am every day

And go run a mile,

Cut some wood, write a play.

Some people become

The world’s best at their craft.

They’re prom kings and queens

Who’re picked first in the draft.

And then there are people

Who are dumb, weak, and stout

And for self-esteems sake

They’re with whom I’ll hang out.

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A Few Good Runs

I eat a plum

To celebrate

A happy day,

Successful date,

A win at work,

A good night’s sleep,

Looking at a woman

Without seeming like a creep.

I’ve been succeeding

In lots of ways,

And I’ll be out of the bathroom

One of these days…

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A Good Year… So Far

I’ve exercised every day so far!

I’ve been a better lay so far!

I’ve eaten healthy food so far!

I haven’t even been rude so far!

I’ve been cheerful, smart, and nice so far,

And only been driven to kill some jerk who’s not as fit, healthy, sexy, and friendly as me twice…

So far.

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My New Motto

If at first you don’t succeed,

LOL! Sucks to be you!

If at first I don’t succeed,

You’re dreaming. I’m perfect. All this is true.

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