Tag Archives: Twilight

Twilight: New Orleans

I said “see you later alligator,”

And flashed her my most dazzling smile.

We never had a second date

‘Cause apparently she was team crocodile.

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Why Do People Think Vampires Are Evil? Oh, Yeah…

If I were a vampire,

Unfazed by passing time

I’d find a cure for cancer

And think of a less obvious rhyme.

I’d write the greatest music

The world would ever hear.

I’d usher in an age of peace

And put an end to fear.

I’d find a cure for bloodlust

(My own and others too)

And take vitamin D pills

So lack of sunlight wouldn’t make me feel blue.

But, alas, those people

Who became immortal blood-diners

Used it to go to high school for 300 years,

Play baseball, and seduce minors.

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