Long ago, when Earth was young
And Blockbuster was a thing
My girlfriend wanted me to find
A Pixar film to bring
So we might watch a family film
Where balloons can lift a house
Because we already saw the ones
With Toys and the gourmet mouse.
So I left home that evening
O’er icy roads to see
If the Blockbuster Video
Would rent us ‘Up’ on DVD.
All was fine at first
Until I parked and stepped outside
At which point I took quite a spill
And eventually I died…
My final act was calling
My beloved on my cell
As I saw the tunnel fill with light
And started off to Hell:
“Hey honey, this is Jeremy.
“You’d best put down your cup.
“I just wanted to let you know
“I’ve fallen and I can’t get ‘Up.'”
The Daily Travesty 