Tag Archives: Plot Twist

That’s Why My Nickname Is “Fish Lips”

My dad has the heart of a lion.

My mom has the heart of a gnu.

Sure, my dad has better taste

But they’re both banned for life from the zoo.

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Sorry Fellow Libra…

When I was born the doctor said

“Your son may never speak.

“His tongue is all misshapen,

“His entire body weak.

My parents only smiled and laughed

As they rode home on the bus

Saying “At least that doctor

“Wasn’t talking to us!”

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Wizard, Meet Rogue

He said he had a magic trick

That always would impress.

He told me to pick any card

So I picked his American Express.

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BTW I’m Not Jewish

She lay beside me

Still in her white dress.

My mouth was alight in her taste.

Her skin was like russet.

Her body was slender

From tip-to-tip, straight in the waist.

She was my fantasy,

Food on my table,

Sustaining me all through the day.

So although it is weird

To put a dress on bacon

I do it ’cause she is my bae.

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National Geographic Vs. HBO

I hear the pitter-patter

Of the children’s tiny feet,

See them playing in the forest

Despite the sultry August heat.

They run and sing so happily.

They live without a care.

They’ll fill my belly nicely

‘Cause %^*# you, I’m a bear.

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The Real Darkness Approaches…

Once a year we celebrate

The gruesome and bizarre,

The stuff that gives clowns nightmares

And makes wolves hide under cars.

We make light of the horrific,

Let go the values we hold dear…

We call this celebration “tax day”

And it’ll come in half a year.

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The Spectacle

Some are pointing,

Some are staring,

But not a person

Is not caring.

“Who’s that guy?”

The women question.

The men ask for

Workout suggestions.

But as I look,

Trying not to leer,

I simply ask

“Why the mirrors here?”

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