Tag Archives: Plot Twist

The Power Of Syllabic Symmetry And Meter In Modern Poetry

Any time I write a poem with a lotta letters

I get a temptation that of me can get the better:

You may have to read twice or the joke you will not get her…

Heeeeeey Macarena!

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Paper News

There was a piece of paper

Atop a tower tall

Who sought to end its lonely life

Through one climactic fall

But when he took that fateful leap

He found out he could fly

And soared for miles in ecstasy

Instead of trying to die.

And when the paper fluttered

To the Earth, it climbed again

And leapt and soared, rinse and repeat,

Or so said CNN.

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In Local News: Dick Trenchcoat Still At Large

I once was in love with a dame

Who, for privacy’s sake, I won’t name.

When I undressed, she shouted,

Which I think is undoubted

Why I had to leave the park. Lame!

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When You Feel Invisible At Your Job

Shinji-San, as your boss

It is my job to say

I haven’t seen you working

Since at least last Saturday.

I haven’t seen you punching in,

I haven’t heard your voice,

And so I called you in today

Because I have no choice…

I’m giving you a pay raise

And your choice of special perk.

You’re a fantastic ninja

And I hope to see less good work.

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Just A Tip: Wait ‘Til All Is Revealed

Ladies: I am five-foot-two,

Bald, and overweight

With a salary four figures long

And a commemorative bowling plate.

Now sure, I know you’re thinking

“Does he know how bad that sounds?”

Well… if they circumcised me

I would lose 100 pounds…

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He Didn’t See That Coming Either

I met a guy

Who was afraid of the ocean,

The salt and the seaweed

And unending motion.

I said “You can fix it!

“Come swimming with me!”

Then I murdered and canned him

‘Cause he was Chicken of the Sea.

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But No! The Advertisers HAD To Lie To You…

I think the greatest opportunity

Anyone ever missed

Was “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter”

Not making butter, ’cause what a twist!

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You Can’t Do It Alone

He found the perfect woman

And he bought the perfect ring

And he planned a perfect marriage

For a perfect queen and king.

Together in the gardens

He knelt and asked, “Would you…?”

And she took a knee beside him

And they silently protested racial injustice in sports.

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Relationship Goals

Two years ago on Sunday

I looked into her eyes

And promised her I love her

And I’m not like other guys.

One year ago on Sunday

I met with her and said

I’d fly us both to Venice

And we’d never leave the bed.

And now this year on Sunday

I’ll ask her to be my bride

And maybe this time she’ll says yes

And I’ll feel good inside!

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Famous Last Words from History

Long ago, when Earth was young

And Blockbuster was a thing

My girlfriend wanted me to find

A Pixar film to bring

So we might watch a family film

Where balloons can lift a house

Because we already saw the ones

With Toys and the gourmet mouse.

So I left home that evening

O’er icy roads to see

If the Blockbuster Video

Would rent us ‘Up’ on DVD.

All was fine at first

Until I parked and stepped outside

At which point I took quite a spill

And eventually I died…

My final act was calling

My beloved on my cell

As I saw the tunnel fill with light

And started off to Hell:

“Hey honey, this is Jeremy.

“You’d best put down your cup.

“I just wanted to let you know

“I’ve fallen and I can’t get ‘Up.'”

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