Buy My Books Now Before They Go On Sale And Lose All Of Their Value

Money’s more expensive now,

And so are milk and bread.

Your rent’s gone through the roof this year

And it’s hard to keep your head.

You might think that stocks and bonds

Are good spots for your money,

But you are wrong! The best investment

Is poetry that’s funny!

For instance, look at all the folks

Who lost their homes this year.

They didn’t buy a book of verse

But spent their cash on beer,

And I think Queen Elizabeth

Would be alive today

If she’d just read one lousy poem

Published every day!

So do it for your health and wealth

And the queen’s legacy:

Read the crap I publish here

And oh! The results you’ll see!


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