Nature’s Chosen

Once in every generation

There is born a chosen one

Who eats their veggie burger

Wrapped in lettuce in lieu of a bun

Then drinks a pint of water

That they brought from their house

Because unfiltered tap water has chemicals

And plastic bottles they don’t espouse.

If you are of the lucky few

Who meet this special soul

It is your sacred duty

And your most important role

To take this person to your home

And shoot them in the head

So we can stop this “special” nonsense

And just eat our meat instead.