Vegans are the greatest photographers
The world has ever seen
Because instead of saying “Cheese”
They say “Emulsified Pea Protein.”
Tag Archives: Vegans
When You’ve Only Written Crappy Four-Line Poems For A Week But You’re Still Not Inspired…
Filed under Poems
Another Once-Great Species Ruined
There once was an African lion
Who was handsome and noble and clever.
He wanted his head to be put on a wall
So he could be admired forever.
Alas, some American vegans
Made a law that to hunt him was banned
So know he stays home in the evenings
And watches MGM films on demand.
Filed under Poems
Yours Truly Goes To A Restaurant
Whether you like mozzarella
Or “anything, as long as its yella”
If you say thank-a-you and please
Then come on down and have some cheese!
We’ve got cheese from cows and goats,
From naked sheep and sheep with coats,
From pigs and deer and even moles.
How much? Bowls and bowls and bowls!
It tastes like heaven. You can check!
It makes the hairs stand on your neck.
And if you melt it… oh, where to begin!
Oh, wait, sorry… you’re vegan…
Filed under Poems
[Insert Fish Pun Here]
Give a man a fish,
You’ll feed him for a day
Unless that man’s a vegan
In which case his death’s okay.
But teach a man to fish
(Be him Vegan or otherwise)
And if he gets married he’ll be grateful
And he’ll think you very wise.
Filed under Poems
Vegan Conspiracies
They make blueberry, strawberry,
Blackberry jam,
But not jam out of chicken,
Venison, spam.
Why do we make paste
Out of fruits and such
But not dead animals?
Suspicious much?
Filed under Poems
