Tag Archives: Meat

Patty > Bun, etc.

Pizza’s pretty yummy

And hot dogs taste real nice

But I can do without the carbs

And even sans the spice.

Instead of all that bready stuff

What I really want to eat

Is meat covered in melted cheese

Then covered in even more meat!

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Just Wait ‘Til He Learns They Eat Cat In China

Jared was a little dude

From Syracuse, New York

Who used to think his favorite meat

Was barbecue pulled pork.

Then he came upon a crowd

Of masturbating cattle

And now he says Beef strokin’ off

Has won the “best meat” battle.

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Dear Vegans

Many chickens passed away

So you could have a meal.

You killed them and ate their eggs;

How does that make you feel?

Many chickens were beheaded,

Plucked, and fried in fat.

Because of that, I feel full

And I’m okay with that.

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How I Greet New Neighbors

Like an inexpensive cut of meat

Stewed for many a lukewarm hour

You’re welcome when sold on my street

But far less welcome in my shower.

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The Wife And Mr. Chicken

No one warms my heart like you do,

For three minutes on medium heat.

Our families and neighbors judge us harshly

But I’m glad, to you, I’m just a piece of meat.

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Vegan Conspiracies

They make blueberry, strawberry,

Blackberry jam,

But not jam out of chicken,

Venison, spam.

Why do we make paste

Out of fruits and such

But not dead animals?

Suspicious much?

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Fine Dining

It’s Fry Day at Sir Spatu-lot,
My city’s favorite dining spot.
You buy your steak by ounce or pound
Or even by the name of the cow.

If you eat ten burgers, you don’t have to pay.
That is just the Spatu-lot way.
If you eat fifty burgers in one sitting
You get to park in the handicapped spot, which is fitting.

It’s been ten years since my last Fry Day.
I was banned for bad behavior, you might say,
For when they asked what I wanted to eat
I asked for a salad without any meat.

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