Tag Archives: Nature

When Your Dream Job Is *This Close*

If I were a sniper

And also a duck

I’d rely on my training

And also my pluck

To take out a target

In one master stroke.

I’d let out a quack

When I see the guy croak.

Being a duck sniper

Some might call “fowl.”

But I could wear camo makeup

And maybe a cowl.

But alas I was born

With a bad lot of luck;

I could still be a sniper

But never a duck…

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The Silent Poet: This Is Why We Hibernate…

Amidst the misty morning,

Atop the naïve snow,

The thin white wind blew, chilly,

‘Neath sun’s unearthly glow.

The living glass of needles

Lay beneath the stalwart fir

And I, the bear, thought all this

But, alas, could only say “grr.”

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Heaven Is Real

This world of ours has beauty

Hidden where you’d least expect.

There’s a chance for redemption

In every life that ends up wrecked.

In every gray face on the corner,

In every drop the clouds can cry,

There’s a way for you to heal

If you only choose to try.

So when the sun stops shining

Take comfort in the shade.

The beauty in the pink of dawn

Is equal to when day fades.

Eagles think they’re falling

When they first learn how to fly.

Love is all around us,

Not just in some beholders eye.

The world has many faces.

Close your eyes, the faces stay.

Whatever you think of the world

It doesn’t change its way.

Regardless of what you may believe

The truth is always true.

If you don’t believe in Heaven,

Heaven still believes in you.

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I Really Need To Move To The South Already…

You tell me not to use a straw

Because somewhere in the sea

A turtle was killed by floating trash,

Perhaps produced by me.

And somewhere I imagine

In the ocean, deep and blue,

A turtle chokes on a straw and is grateful

To not be dating you.

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Life Without Makeup

Chapped lips, dry skin,

Hair without a bobby pin,

Baggy pants, hairy pits,

A shirt that hides any sign of tits,

Spotty face, mustache line,

Eau de toilette called “big ass pine,”

A house that others call a sty:

Just another great day of being a guy!

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Career Advice

If you were born with giant feet

And a spherical scarlet nose

And super pale powdery skin

And carrying a plastic rose

I think you should become a clown

And make a living so

‘Cause if you don’t then people

Might think you’re creepy, just so you know.

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The Jury’s Still Out On Flowers Though…

I’m sitting in the forest,

Bony flesh among the trees,

Trying to consort with both

The flowers and the bees.

As the hours came and went

And nature’s reply did not

I remembered my childhood

And found I had a thought:

The scarecrow of Dorothy’s comp’ny

Lacked a brain, which stopped him from

Doing as I was attempting.

So I questioned: “Am I dumb?”

One of the bees responded:

“Nope. Now go back to the mall.”

I did just that, but pleased

That bees aren’t assholes after all.

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