The Gen Alpha Song

I was born too late for a peaceful life,

Born to a woman who was not a wife,

Raised by a screen and a TikTok star

With no life skills but a brand new car.

My first day of school was in my bedroom.

I made new friends with the help of Zoom.

My kindergarten cred was instantly blown

‘Cause I’m five years old but using last year’s phone.

I can’t read yet and that won’t change soon

‘Cause Alexa can read me Good Night Moon,

My browser can do homework for me

Thanks to indifferent teachers and a GPT.

By 2050 we’ll be on the presidential stage

Campaigning for a million dollar minimum wage

So better get some rizz unless you’ve got gyat

‘Cause here we come world, ready or not.