Tag Archives: Children

Paper Heart

Twenty years or so before

I turned the age of 24

I feared to give a paper heart

To that one special lass.

Ten years after, now 14

I’ve had my eye on other queens

But my feeling for the paper heart girl

Never seems to pass.

In the present world we find

Our troubled and still childish mind

Called to give the other sex

Eternal loyalty.

I’m loyal to who understands

My paper heart and shaking hands.

Does she still exist? Perhaps

In ten more years we’ll see.

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National Geographic Vs. HBO

I hear the pitter-patter

Of the children’s tiny feet,

See them playing in the forest

Despite the sultry August heat.

They run and sing so happily.

They live without a care.

They’ll fill my belly nicely

‘Cause %^*# you, I’m a bear.

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Without My Mom You’d Still Be Pretending To Like Robert Frost

Today we thank our mothers,

The reason we’re alive,

The commuter jets of fetuses

That ensured to life we’d arrive.

And after our delivery

Their labors didn’t stop;

Our every cry reminded them

Of a long-ago hop-on-Pop.

They spent many sleepless hours

Changing diapers, wiping tears,

Just for us to becomes teenagers

All full of angst and sneers.

But two moms we thank today

Whose children are divine.

One is the virgin Mary

And the other mom is mine.

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Hipster Children

I really liked green eggs and ham.

I really, really gave a damn.

Then they wrote the book and whoo!

Everybody loved it too.

Now I hate green eggs and ham,

That Dr. Seuss and Sam-I-Am.

I hate them so much I can burst,

Yet proudly say I loved them first.

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Or Just Misspell A Biblical Name

I see little boys and girls

With very unique names

Like Cadence, Weston, Apple, Peityn,

Lembas, Crêpe, and Flames.

Now if your name is “Flames” you’re fine,

But “Crookshanks…” not so much.

So here are some modern names

I think are better much:

Verity, Sanity, Clamperl, Spore,

Visigoth, Boromir, Wikstrom, Implore,

Magnitude, Honeydunce, Kraftool, Parade.

Name your kid one of these and they’ll have it made!

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The True MVP!

When you’re young, people ask

“What do you want to be

“When you grow up,” and today

I found my answer (finally)!

I want to be the guy whose job’s

To be the obscure-stats fairy

And Google crap that nobody knows

And tell the guys doing commentary

So when the score is 12-8

In a game involving someone named “Lou”

Because of me you’ll know that hasn’t happened

Since 1962!

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The Pleasures Of Working With Children

I didn’t know that hair could ache,

Just how much snot a nose can make,

How badly belly-buttons burn,

But today I guess I get to learn!

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