Tag Archives: Scary

How I Greet New Neighbors

Like an inexpensive cut of meat

Stewed for many a lukewarm hour

You’re welcome when sold on my street

But far less welcome in my shower.

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KOA Circa 1801

Sparks rise into the cold black air.

We the living huddle by the source.

We’ve a pail of frigid water to wash our hair

And the lot of us smell more or less like horse.

The moon is but a crack in gloomy midnight.

Our dinner was a lukewarm can of beans.

We’re thirsty after hours in harsh sunlight

But there’s no clean water to fill up our canteens.

Somewhere in the blackness comes a growling

And we dare not leave our camp to take a piss.

All the while Daddy is a smiling

While the rest of the family thinks “we paid for this?”

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The Day Our Dungeon Master Went Too Far

Can you imagine

A world without dragons?

A world without wizards

And goblins and knights?

The scary thing is

There are some folks who can

And legend says they don’t use dice

To resolve all their fights…

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Illustration Omitted… You’re Welcome¬†

Yankee Doodle went to town

Riding on a pony.

Scooby and gang ripped his face off

Proving he’s a phony!

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The Night Owl’s Fear

I’m quite afraid to say

But there’s been a terrible mistake:

It’s before 9:00 AM on a Sunday

And I’m up, about, awake!

I’m not tired, droopy, moody.

I’d say I feel okay.

I guess I’ll go to bed again

And hope it goes away.

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After the Rave

What is orange

And six feet tall

And smells like it is dead?

This isn’t a joke.

I’m asking you

Because one is in my bed.

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Blind Dates

When she looks at me

Children scream and flowers die.

Probably no big deal…

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