Sincerely, Educated White Dudes

I’m not much of a gangster

And I’m not a street-smart guy

So can anyone enlighten me

How so much gets you high?

For example, bath salts

And keyboard cleaner cans

Made someone want to sniff them

And promptly earned their bans…

Who are the people purchasing

And sniffing random goods

To see if something in them

Makes them feel different moods?

And if it’s not trial and error

But some scientific knowledge

That tells you what’s worth selling

On the street to pay for college

Then why aren’t people using

This backroom chemical expertise

To make it so the methheads

Can unabashedly say “cheese”?