Tag Archives: Questions

The Occult Circa 2019

If you give a million tiny dollars

To a your own voodoo doll

Do you get full sized money?

To try, give me a call!

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Two Keys To A Happy Mind

When you think about anything

It becomes weird,

Like why can’t tigers

Grow a beard,

Why would someone join

An introverts group,

And who first thought

“He’s a nincompoop?”

And eventually you will find

The answers are one of these

“Probably reasons I don’t get”

Or “Screw it! More chocolate please.”

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The Correct Answer Was “Huh?”

She asked me “who’s your favorite?”

I said “of course it’s you!”

She asked me “do you mean it?”

I said “of course it’s true!”

But I lost my concentration

And answered “you, of course” once more.

I still don’t know why she asked

“Who’s that girl dressed like a whore?”

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Alt Wisdom

Never be nervous to be who you are.

Don’t be afraid to be you.

Don’t feel scared to ask “whyever so?”

When the other owls only ask “who?”

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A Sneak Peek At Poems From My Upcoming Senate Campaign

You may have both heard

I can’t be bothered

To write funny poems

Before evening’s chill.

I’d like to address

To the question, and yes

I will address it

Although first I will

Bring to your sense

The problems immense 

That plague creativity

Such as lack of caffeine,

An unhealthy diet

(Though I’d urge you to try it),

And a sleep cycle deadly

To the health of one’s spleen.

These matters now raised

The establishment praised

Solutions that will not

These problems make right.

My plans will be different.

Now what was the question?

You don’t even remember.

With that said, good night!

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99% Complete

70,020 updates

In a minute all are done,

So why’s it take an hour

For number 70,021?

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Um, no reason. Just curious…

Do animals who reproduce


Get turned on by the absence

Of phallic imagery?

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Everything You Want To Know (But Were Too Scared To Ask)

Am I the only one

Who’s lonely at night,

Who drinks from the faucet,

Who doesn’t want to fight?
Am I the only one

Whose hot chocolate is made

Without any water

But instead lemonade?
Am I the only one

Whose blowholes get sore

When I inhale the air

That you buy at the store?
If you’re ever unsure

If you’re normal or weird

Know that I’m right there with you

And so is my beard.

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…But Were Afraid To Ask

I’ve heard something about women

That makes me incredulous,

That when women live together

They synchronize their monthly schedule. Is

This true, I wonder?

And if it’s truly so

If you need to adjust your “schedule”

Is their a place you can go

Where various dominant women

With different monthly climes

Charge money to reassign  “events”

To more convenient times?

You say these clubs do not exist?

Should someone start one then?

If we don’t ask, we’ll never know.

Yours sincerely,


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