If you give a million tiny dollars
To a your own voodoo doll
Do you get full sized money?
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Tag Archives: Questions
Two Keys To A Happy Mind
When you think about anything
It becomes weird,
Like why can’t tigers
Grow a beard,
Why would someone join
An introverts group,
And who first thought
“He’s a nincompoop?”
And eventually you will find
The answers are one of these
“Probably reasons I don’t get”
Or “Screw it! More chocolate please.”
Filed under Poems
Alt Wisdom
Never be nervous to be who you are.
Don’t be afraid to be you.
Don’t feel scared to ask “whyever so?”
When the other owls only ask “who?”
Filed under Poems
A Sneak Peek At Poems From My Upcoming Senate Campaign
You may have both heard
I can’t be bothered
To write funny poems
Before evening’s chill.
I’d like to address
To the question, and yes
I will address it
Although first I will
Bring to your sense
The problems immense
That plague creativity
Such as lack of caffeine,
An unhealthy diet
(Though I’d urge you to try it),
And a sleep cycle deadly
To the health of one’s spleen.
These matters now raised
The establishment praised
Solutions that will not
These problems make right.
My plans will be different.
Now what was the question?
You don’t even remember.
With that said, good night!
Filed under Poems
99% Complete
70,020 updates
In a minute all are done,
So why’s it take an hour
For number 70,021?
Um, no reason. Just curious…
Do animals who reproduce
Asexually
Get turned on by the absence
Of phallic imagery?
Filed under Poems
Everything You Want To Know (But Were Too Scared To Ask)
Am I the only one
Who’s lonely at night,
Who drinks from the faucet,
Who doesn’t want to fight?
Am I the only one
Whose hot chocolate is made
Without any water
But instead lemonade?
Am I the only one
Whose blowholes get sore
When I inhale the air
That you buy at the store?
If you’re ever unsure
If you’re normal or weird
Know that I’m right there with you
And so is my beard.
Filed under Poems
…But Were Afraid To Ask
I’ve heard something about women
That makes me incredulous,
That when women live together
They synchronize their monthly schedule. Is
This true, I wonder?
And if it’s truly so
If you need to adjust your “schedule”
Is their a place you can go
Where various dominant women
With different monthly climes
Charge money to reassign “events”
To more convenient times?
You say these clubs do not exist?
Should someone start one then?
If we don’t ask, we’ll never know.
Yours sincerely,
Men
Filed under Poems
