Although at first glance
He was a ball of hair,
And like “Sex, Lies, and Poetry”
He had an unapologetic air.
The hairball plugged my shower
And made the water stay
Like laughter at a poetry book
Or homeless guys at a KOA.
The shameless plug held water
So I was forced to buy Drano.
It cost me almost $5.99.
What a fantastic low price! Whoa!
So now my shower drains just fine.
The shameless plug has fled.
Now I’m happy and clean, and my only wish
Is to read some funny poems in bed.
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
I was visited last afternoon
By friendly Mr. Levin
Who stopped by, presumably,
To get me into Heaven.
He handed me a pamphlet
About discovering Jehovah,
But being an ad exec myself
It didn’t win me ovah.
So I came up with a new campaign
For the door-to-door believers
To double their conversion rate
And make them high achievers:
They could give out bottles of water
In tribute to the divine,
But if you come to hear a sermon
You can trade for a bottle of wine.
They could host some seminars
On days when it is raining
Giving a new-agey mix
Of spiritual sales training.
If you want to walk on water
A witness has a deal for you:
Free water skiing lessons
If you’ll sing hallelu’.
By now you will have realized
I didn’t read their stuff,
But I tried to help as best I could.
I hope that was enough.
The Daily Travesty 