I think there are two types of folks.
Let’s see if you agree:
1: People who are literally Hitler
2: People who think just like me
Tag Archives: Facebook
Social Media Arguments
If you’d rather win than be happy
And you’d rather be happy than right
You may be a dumb git
And you’ll feel like shit
But hey! You won that Facebook fight.
Filed under Poems
#LookBothWays
I saw the golden headlights
Driving towards me in the rain.
I heard the tires squealing
And the brake lines shout of pain.
I smelled the burning rubber
And sensed the car careening
As I changed my Facebook status
So my life could have some meaning.
But Then People Won’t Think Everything In My Life Is Perfect And Be Indifferent/Slightly Insecure About The Whole Thing!
There’s something to be said
For chatting without snap,
Books without face,
Interacting without that crap…
Gramming that’s not instant,
Interests that aren’t pins,
Singing without tweeting.
Real friends don’t need log-ins.
I think our society’s forgotten
The value of offline truth
So why not forget your password
And go enjoy your youth?
Filed under Poems
I’ve Looked At Actual Books And Faces In The Meantime
Two weeks ago I left behind
A big part of my life…
And I don’t speak of small stuff
Like a job, a church, a wife…
I left behind the means by which
Most others at me look,
By which I mean the platform
That we know as the Facebook.
And since I stepped away from it
I noticed there’s a sky,
I haven’t heard “impeach Trump”
Nor been annoyed by those who try,
I haven’t argued even once
Or leered at female friends
And my days are nine hours longer
And I don’t care whom that offends.
My IQ’s jumped twelve points so far.
I may have lost some weight.
I talked a bit with strangers
At the bus’s boarding gate.
I went outside three times this week
And didn’t feel lame
And though some folks may still hate me
I don’t comment on their blame.
So overall un-pluggedness
(Or less-pluggedness if we’re honest)
Has made me ever happier,
Less pale, and a bit more modest.
Now instead of saying
“Here’s how my life should be”
To friends I haven’t seen in years
Now I can just be me!
Filed under Poems
What We Really Mean
Happy birthday Facebook friend!
This past year your life didn’t end.
You didn’t factor much into my life.
We’re only friends ’cause of my wife.
Filed under Poems
Sonnet: How It Feels To Not Log Onto Facebook For 48 Hours
As the stars align in the Summer sky,
As one century turns into the next,
So do we give thanks Bruce Jenner’s a guy
And people still call when, tempted, they might text.
We’re thankful that the world is small and flat,
That European powers rule it all.
Perhaps above all else we’re thankful that
No team would play with a deflated ball.
Yet as we smile, gratef’ly reminiscing
We dream of a future where a black man
Can be elected president, dissing
The establishment, saying “yes we can.”
And so we sleep comfortable in our world
Never suspecting it could be unfurled.
Filed under Poems
I Write From Experience
If you feel lonely,
Forgotten and blue,
Put a cat in your profile pic
And everyone loves you.
Filed under Poems
What The News Won’t Tell You
Mass media provides
A service in which they
Share public information
Of what happens every day.
But the news is not reliable
To show an uncomfortable scoop
Like the hundreds of would-be bombers
Who thought “nah, I gotta poop.”
No matter how they try
And no matter how they zoom
Cameras never show a person
Standing in an empty room.
They won’t report this poem
On MSNBC.
They won’t tell other countries
About you, him, her, and me.
So I spend time on Facebook
‘Cause the news is relevant there
Until I see pics my friend’s friend liked
And then even I don’t care.
Filed under Poems
