You know that feeling
When you have to sneeze but can’t
And your nose you already blew?
Imagine that feeling
For an hour or so.
That’s how it feels to be talking with you.
Happy birthday Facebook friend!
This past year your life didn’t end.
You didn’t factor much into my life.
We’re only friends ’cause of my wife.
As the stars align in the Summer sky,
As one century turns into the next,
So do we give thanks Bruce Jenner’s a guy
And people still call when, tempted, they might text.
We’re thankful that the world is small and flat,
That European powers rule it all.
Perhaps above all else we’re thankful that
No team would play with a deflated ball.
Yet as we smile, gratef’ly reminiscing
We dream of a future where a black man
Can be elected president, dissing
The establishment, saying “yes we can.”
And so we sleep comfortable in our world
Never suspecting it could be unfurled.
If you feel lonely,
Forgotten and blue,
Put a cat in your profile pic
And everyone loves you.
Mass media provides
A service in which they
Share public information
Of what happens every day.
But the news is not reliable
To show an uncomfortable scoop
Like the hundreds of would-be bombers
Who thought “nah, I gotta poop.”
No matter how they try
And no matter how they zoom
Cameras never show a person
Standing in an empty room.
They won’t report this poem
They won’t tell other countries
About you, him, her, and me.
So I spend time on Facebook
‘Cause the news is relevant there
Until I see pics my friend’s friend liked
And then even I don’t care.
Sitting in the park
Amidst green and verdant trees
Checking my Facebook.