Tag Archives: Books

YA Dystopian Epics

Once upon a time

In a far away world

That turns out to be the USA by book 3

A brave young girl

With a stupid name

Becomes an unlikely hero

When she’s mildly inconvenienced

By an otherwise fine totalitarian system.

Alongside her trusty sensitive boyfriend

And the other dude who has no chance

But is still in the book for some reason

She will change the world…

Then she’ll do it again in book 2

In basically the same way

And then there’s a third one

Where the writer basically tells you

“War is bad,” or something

Because you kinda have to keep reading.

Her battle will be legendary

For about ten years

Until the next four-book trilogy releases.

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Plus The One About Chocolate Slaves Murdering Lottery Winners For Their Zany CEO’s Amusement…

Children’s books today address

Bullying and gender

And how to make vegan, non-fat,

Pastrami in a blender.

Children’s books in my day

Were like “Bears go to the beach,”

And “Here’s a story ’bout some kid

“With an enormous peach.”

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Mostly Crap: A Decade With The Daily Travesty

I’ve done it! I’ve done it!

I’ve done what I’ve done!

I’ve congealed 8 years

Into one book of fun!

It’s the best of my poems

(Which doesn’t mean much)

In 329 pages

You can physically touch!

It’s out now on Amazon,

Soon to be elsewhere too.

It’s called “Mostly Crap

And that’s mostly true.

You can get it on kindle

As well, if you’re cheap

And it come with the bonus

Of wrecking your sleep!

You’ll never have more time

To read it than now,

So check it out promptly

Or maybe say “Ow.”

And if you buy and hate it

You may get the honor

Of being the first

To slap a 1-star review on ‘er!

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A Poetical Update/Cry For Help

As I was reading through my blog

Upon this snowy day

I realized there’s lots of posts

That, by default, went away.

There are two-thousand-something poems

That I’ve written on this site

And to have them be forgotten

Just really isn’t right.

I looked into solutions

But to add a button here

To send you to a random post

Costs $600 a year (Seriously WordPress? Seriously?)

So my solution to preserve

Those posts into which I put thought

Is to compile a book that’s bigger

Than the books you’ve already bought. (Hint hint)

So a thing that I am wondering

About my biggest-book-yet dream

Is whether to just compile stuff

Or whether to have a theme.

And here’s the part where you come in:

Please help me make you happy

By commenting or emailing me

Advice to make the book less crappy…

Is an omnibus of random poems

With my thoughts added enough

Or do you want a theme again

With more never-published stuff?

And if, of course, you don’t reply

I’ll just decide myself

But I’ll make the cover aubergine

So it looks weird on your shelf 🙂

Comments welcomed on the site, or emailed to thedailytravesty@yahoo.com

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Inner City Nursery Rhymes

“Red umbrella on a bench

Next to homeless guy with stench.

Kinda wrinkly, slightly damp

Are both umbrella and the tramp.

They’ve been friends since ’98

When he bought it, as if by fate.

Together they’ve been through a lot.

They’ve weathered storms, bickered, and fought.

The hobo and umbrella pair

Possess a sense of laissez-faire.

It seems for them that things look up

As they count coins in their half-full cup.

Then they lynch a passerby;

Umbrella stabs him in the eye.”

This is why you should always look

Before you buy a children’s book!

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Feed Me!

Hello dear readers!

I’m here to announce

A new opportunity

On which you may pounce:

My latest collection

Of poetical stuff

Is now featured on Amazon

As purchasable fluff.

The link is below

If you care to explore.

If you buy it I may

Be able to go to the store

And put food on the table

(Or just eat food in bed).

You know what to do.

Thanks to all! Thus, I’m fled.


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Limited Time Opportunity, Depending On How Lazy I Am This Week

So as ye loyal readers

Saw yesterday, the first

Copy of my newest book

(And probably the worst)

Arrived for me

To proofread and add

A few more poems

That are suitably bad.

Now I’m a lazy person,

Of which I’m often proud,

And it may take me a while

To proof the book as I’ve avowed,

So if you have a topic

You would like a poem about

I’ve got some comments down below

In which you can give a shout.

So if you have a favorite

From the blog or in your head,

Or you’d prefer a poem

That’s original instead

Please share the information

And hey! What do you know?

A poem about barracuda urology

Might just get published, yo!

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Announcing: Tepid Gruel!

Hello readers! Today I’m excited to announce my next book, “Tepid Gruel and other short poems you probably shouldn’t read but will because you’re already looking at this book so, hey, why not?”

Below is the title poem from the book. I hope you enjoy because I’m proud and excited to share it with you and also because I’m very poor and want you to buy the book when it comes out. 🙂

I’m launching a new cologne line

I think is pretty cool

Inspired by the “adequate.”

I call it “Tepid Gruel.”

It smells like tap water, limp white bread,

And past-its-prime shampoo.

It makes a statement, as if to say

“I’m alright… how are you?”

Critics are calling it “fine, I guess,”

“Non-threateningly bland,”

“An understudy’s ideal scent,”

“Inconsequential, thus not panned.”

So if you’re worried you might be liked

Or noticed in a way

Be sure to spritz on some Tepid Gruel

Before you start your day!

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Launch, Pt. 1

Good morning to most of my readers!

Good afternoon to the few!

It’s a beautiful day in travesty land,

And I’m going to share it with you.

Today, I launch my book, “America:

“Land of the (Buy One, Get One) Free.”

For those who accepted my promotion,

You’ll soon get a free gift from me.

Here’s a link to the finished product,

Where you can get in in time

For your Fourth of July celebration

And at very minimal dime.

And for my non-American readers,

Thanks for putting up with this post.

You should buy the book too, ’cause it’s funny.

(It’s the truth, not merely a boast).

And for those lovely readers of mine

Who just come here for the funny,

Today’s poem is coming after I am through humming

And hopping around like a bunny.


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The Shameless Plug

Although at first glance

He was a ball of hair,

And like “Sex, Lies, and Poetry

He had an unapologetic air.

The hairball plugged my shower

And made the water stay

Like laughter at a poetry book

Or homeless guys at a KOA.

The shameless plug held water

So I was forced to buy Drano.

It cost me almost $5.99.

What a fantastic low price! Whoa!

So now my shower drains just fine.

The shameless plug has fled.

Now I’m happy and clean, and my only wish

Is to read some funny poems in bed.

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