I’ve got a crippling fear of insects,
But that’s not much of an issue
Since I work inside a hospital
In the birthing ward.
From time to time, an ugly baby
Will burst forth into my view.
I’ll say “oh look, he’s cute as a bug,”
‘Cause it’s honest and I’m bored.
Filed under Poems
No one’s shouted “Uno”
In what seems like years.
No one’s held my colorful cards
And laughed and spilled their beers.
No one’s read house rules
Or over my manual pored,
And while I am a card game
I’m starting to get bored.
Filed under Poems
When life is dull and boring,
And your mind is full of snoring,
And your sanity has lost it’s mooring,
We turn to solitaire.
It’s a stupid little game
Of cards. though having fame
The hobby is still rather lame.
The hobby of solitaire.
And now I’ll announce this:
(Correct me if I miss)
No one has fun in the abyss
Of desperation called solitaire?
Maybe when you were five,
And the game was so alive!
So fresh and new, the jive!
The jive of solitaire.
And so this poem ends.
Did it have a point? Depends
On how your viewpoint bends.
Now I’m leaving, for solitaire.
Every now and agin,
When entertainment is thin,
We human beings get bored.
But why must it be
That if bored are we
We cannot have fun? Oh my lord!
For instance if you’ll
Be bored in a pool
That means you’re water board.
And if you find eating dull,
And your food brings a lull,
Then alternatively, you’re fodder bored.
If you’re bored with computers
And can’t define transmuters
Chances are you’re circuit board.
And if you want to have sex,
But you’re bored and depressed,
Go ahead and just furk it bored.
When you go on a sailboat
You’re boarding a ship.
When your date is boring
Just give them the slip.
If you’re on rollers or ice
You could be skate board,
And if you cannot be early,
Be late bored!
And finally if a lion
Who live out in Zion
Whose name is Ford, has roared,
Then it’s quite possible
That specific sort of dull
Is to be as lion Ford roared bored!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 