Tag Archives: Worse than usual

It’ll Get Better Soon… Maybe (Probably Not : )

Yesterday I wrote a joke

And thought I’d write more later.

By later I had decomposed

Into a couch potater.

From the fact ai wrote “potater”

I suspect that you can see

This week has not inspired

My most vibrant artistry.

So tonight I have a fallback

That I’ve used in ages past

Where I write a bit on writing

And use words like “grand” and “vast.”

I make questionable decisions

And lines with uneven meter,

And rap up the inanity

By rhyming with saltpeter.

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When The School Counselor Gives Up

Just because last time you jumped

You injured yourself in the fall

Doesn’t mean you’ll be mistaken

If you once again give it your all.

Just because last time the verdict

Did not go the way you intended

Does not mean your life will be better

If you avoid being offended.

Just because pain is eternal

Doesn’t mean you should quit having fun.

Don’t be a fool! Get up! Go to school!

And oh, by the way, here’s a gun.

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I’m Sleepy, You Have Low Expectations… Let’s Compromise

Brevity is a virtue…

Perfect rhyming too

I have one of those

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The Birds and the Seas

If you are a whale

Your parents probably sing

About how to safely do

The reproduction thing.

If you are a shark instead

The learning that’s essential

Is that some biting might be fun

As long as you are gentle.

If you’re in a school of fish

You’ll probably be fine

Unless you can puke out your guts

And your skin is covered in spines

Because if you’re the sea cucumber

It is my belief

You’re in a bit of danger

When teenage whales need relief…

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Idioms, Like Pubic Hair, Are Better When Short

When life gives you lemons

You make lemonade

Then you give it to children

Who sell it and get paid

Then give you their money

Which your wife will then spend

And life gives you more lemons

And when will it end?

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Haiku: When Someone Tells Me There Are More Than 2 Genders

Ha ha ha ha ha,

Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha.

Wait, there’s more… (pause)… Ha.

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When Someone Tells A Racist Joke And You Want To Warn Them To Stop, Apparently Shouting “ABORT!” Doesn’t Help…

If ever a black woman

Tries to defraud you

Here is a line you can say:

“Do I look like your baby,

“Because probably maybe

“I wasn’t born yesterday.”

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Sometimes You Never Reach The Point

If I were a slug

I would say a lot of stuff

And eventually

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If You Sing This Poem, We Might Be Soulmates

A B C D E F G

H I J K

L M N O

O O O’Reilly’s!

Auto parts!

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When You At Least Remember the Important Part of the Limerick

There once was bobabezine

That slodda dee focus or line?

And burger da beep

Chodda wodda ga meep?

Soda wamegla SWEET CAROLINE!

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