Tag Archives: Worse than usual

When Someone Tells A Racist Joke And You Want To Warn Them To Stop, Apparently Shouting “ABORT!” Doesn’t Help…

If ever a black woman

Tries to defraud you

Here is a line you can say:

“Do I look like your baby,

“Because probably maybe

“I wasn’t born yesterday.”

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Sometimes You Never Reach The Point

If I were a slug

I would say a lot of stuff

And eventually

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If You Sing This Poem, We Might Be Soulmates

A B C D E F G

H I J K

L M N O

O O O’Reilly’s!

Auto parts!

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When You At Least Remember the Important Part of the Limerick

There once was bobabezine

That slodda dee focus or line?

And burger da beep

Chodda wodda ga meep?

Soda wamegla SWEET CAROLINE!

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If You Can Read This, Don’t Bother

Today is a holiday

As you likely know.

I ate. Now I’m lazy

So I’m gonna go.

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But Hockey? There’s A Great Sport!

Soccer’s like “The Notebook:”

I’ve never watched for more than a minute,

I consider it nap-time

And don’t like anyone in it.

Soccer and I

Are also much alike

In that no one ever scores

And the entertainment it creates has unsatisfying conclusions.

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Individuality, But At What Caust?

A black guy names his kid J’Kwon

And no one bats an eye.

In Florida kids are named X-wing

And no one asks them why.

I choose a name like this

For the son I fathered

But when I say “My son, Z’Kyle”

The jews get hot and bothered…

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How To Write A Superbowl Ad

You start out with a robot

That’s been made with CGI

Who says one beer is best

With no compelling reason why.

Next you strip the advertisement

Of anything resembling humor

So you don’t provoke the many

With an “I’m Offended” tumor.

Then say “We love social justice

“So you should buy our calamari”

With the sincerity of a five-year-old

When they’re forced to say “I’m sorry.”

The result’s an advertisement

To appeal to a mob

That hates all corporations

But still needs them for their job.

I hope next year’s Sportsball expo

Doesn’t try to be so “woke”

And the 2020 vegans

Are prepared to take a joke.

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I’ll Just Leave This Here

I asked a friendly prostitute

If she’d service a leper.

She looked at me a moment

And she said “yep, yep, yepper!”

We had a crazy evening.

Yes, it was quite a trip!

I asked “how can I thank you?”

She said “just leave the tip.”

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When You Think “That Would Rhyme Well,” Realize You Were Wrong, And Don’t Fix It

There once was a man named Jared Russ

Who was fond of munching canned asparagus.

He ate it all the time

But for lack of a rhyme

Often said things were Ceteris Parabus.

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