Tag Archives: Ugly

Based on a True Story

She said, “I love your belly fat,

“Your slightly crooked nose,

“Your creepily short fingers

“And your eerily long toes.

“I love your balding forehead

“And your lazy eye as well.”

I said, “Thanks, but all that stuff

“Is nothing next to my smell.”

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Why I Never Got Together With That Cute Girl In Class

What wonder has a flower,

A daisy or a rose,

To the clueless human

As on its way it goes?

A work of nature, beautiful,

Is worth not but a glance

For what interest has a human

In the idle ways of plants?

But a very ugly flower

That can nauseate by sight,

That makes you want to kick a baby,

Draw attention that just might.

So when you see the spiders

Crawling from my bloodshot eyes

I seek your fondness and attention.

‘Twas not that so very wise?

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Natural Selection

The eagle sat at the tiptop

Of a cedar tree, casually preening.

The raptor had no conception

Of how the awkward arbor was leaning.

The tree had spent many hours

Under the whip of the weather.

It gave in that day, but the eagle did stay,

Saying silently “just one more feather.”

That eagle dropped seventeen stories

Without even the thought to take wing,

So focused on ridding his feathers

Of that one ugly, hard-to-reach thing.

Thus died the last beautiful eagle

And the fashionable avian gene.

That’s why eagles today are so ugly,

And really don’t like to be seen.

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He Looks Just Like You

I’ve got a crippling fear of insects,

But that’s not much of an issue

Since I work inside a hospital

In the birthing ward.

From time to time, an ugly baby

Will burst forth into my view.

I’ll say “oh look, he’s cute as a bug,”

‘Cause it’s honest and I’m bored.

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