There is a website
That hands out free money,
Feeds hungry children,
And makes dreams come true.
I didn’t go there.
I’d have to make an account
And I’ve too many passwords
Already. Don’t you?
Tag Archives: Internet
Vive L’Internet!
It’s 41 Farenheit
Outside my room.
It would be warm in Alaska
And cold in Khartoum.
In my car, my spedometer
Says 73.
That’s slow if you’re metric
But fast if you’re me.
Lots of life’s relative;
Could be good, could be bad,
But at least we agree
There’s arguments to be had!
As Seen On Youtube
Have you ever been walking,
Not thinking at all,
When you look up
And in love you fall?
I almost did
At 10:30 today,
Except that stupid pole
Got in the way.
Meet the New Internet…
I got a satellite dish
For the internet,
But when it rains
My connection goes.
So I sit and wish
It would come back,
Wondering what happens
When it snows.
Filed under Poems
Top 5 Super Villains Of Our Time
5: Spider Man
Well, yes, he is a hero.
That is good and well,
But this is spidey’s evil twin,
And like spiders, he’s scary as hell!
4: The Licenser
The Licenser is an insidious one.
He makes you wait in line.
He restricts your access to cars and guns
And he also makes you wait in line.
(Did I mention the waiting in line thing)?
3: The Pizza Delivery Boy Killer
No, he doesn’t kill delivery boys.
He eviller than that.
He poisons the pizzas you order in
With carbohydrates and saturated fat.
2: The Baby
Loud, obnoxious, and stinky,
It’s a villain with a potent defense:
You cannot kill a baby.
That’s just common courtesy. Such is the pretense.
And Finally:
1: The Internet
It’s said that most Americans
Are on the web 2.5 hours a day.
That’s 9.6 percent of your life.
Let me put it this way:
If you live to be one hundred years old,
You’ll only live to be 90.
Don’t believe me? Well look at your screen.
You’re on the internet, and it’s kicking your hiney.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 