Tag Archives: Society

The Nasty Aftertastes Of Society That Won’t Go Away

I feel like at this point

Most people would agree the

Invention of social media

Was a really bad idea,

While at the same time saying

“We can do nothing about it”

And most of those agree

That they could not live without it.

The same has gone for junk food,

Fancy coffee, cigarettes:

We consume them faster

Than we process our regrets.

I look forward to the day

When we look at that list

And add the important footnote

That governments shouldn’t exist.

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Great Minds Think Alike, But Fools Seldom Differ

The best thing about 8 billion people

Is, at least according to me,

That no matter what weird opinion you have

At least one other guy will agree.

The worst thing about 8 billion people

Is, also according to moi,

That a bunch of the rich and the stupid ones

Agree their opinions are law.

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A Feminist Unicorn

She is a shining unicorn

Cloaked in righteous fire.

To her all that’s unequal

Is an injustice dire.

A gynocentric unity

Is all she needs for bliss

And society might like her

If she didn’t look like this:

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I’ll Probably Just End Up Unsubscribing Anyway…

There is a website 

That hands out free money,

Feeds hungry children,

And makes dreams come true.

I didn’t go there.

I’d have to make an account

And I’ve too many passwords

Already. Don’t you?

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Social Games

So I hear you’re watching Jeopardy

And thinking “hey, that could be me.”

Alas, the auditions passed

And it turns out you weren’t cast.

Sure it’s sad, but cheer up the though!

I’ll cast you for another show.

If you’re good at playing games,

And have trouble remembering names

You’re on the show! Congrats! Yoo hoo!

It’s called “how the heck does that guy know you?”

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Small Talk 1.0

If you want to agree with a stranger

Say “What a beautiful day.”

If you want to argue with a stranger

Say “I think both parties are okay.”

If you don’t feel like talking

Say “What’s that?” And run away.

(If you’re a woman in a bar

You can also say “I’m gay.”)

And if all else fails,

Dead’s a good thing to play.

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Camping

Polite society demands
Knowledge of useless things
Like how to dress and shaking hands
And “Red Bull gives you wings.”

But in the woods we socialize
In much more pleasant ways
Like cooking meat over a fire,
Not showering for days.

We sleep in tents upon the ground
And wake up with the sun.
We fight off bugs and bears and stuff.
We think that’s really fun.

When our trip ends we must return
To home and cubicles
To learn again our lot in life:
To learn to love the lulls.

But I won’t do that anymore.
I’m staying in the woods,
Where I can sing among the birds,
Free from the world of should’s.

And so I did ’til I ran out
Of beans and other tack.
Now back to home to better plan
The day that I come back…

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Interdependence Day

You are reading this poem

On a computer made by a man

Who lives in a manufactured house

Made by someone in Japan.

 

The house builder wouldn’t be able to get to work

Had his buggy not been fixed

By the buggy-fixer down the road

Who ate breakfast that was mixed

 

By the breakfast mixer Sally,

Who sat down on a chair

That was made in Alaska

By a guy who fought a bear.

 

What this ridiculous scenario

Is intended to point out

Is that if we were independent,

We would be without.

 

For to read this, thank the British

Who invented this alphabet.

When you go to the bathroom

Thank the guy who made your toilet.

 

And when you laugh or smile

In your everyday life,

Thank the person who made you happy.

With joy, the world is rife.

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