Tag Archives: Politics

The Kaepernick Song

I say you can kneel if you wanna

Before you play behind the line,

But if your political stance

Draws an unpopular glance

Then you’ll be on no team of mine!

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Political Commentary < Forced Cheese Puns

When all was young

In the beginning

There was a big cheese

And we called it a king.

But the cheese was too big

For the peasants’ humble stomachs.

Though they had many plans

The situation continued to flummox.

So they cut up the king,

(Figuratively, of course)

And imposed their own rule

Through riot-based force.

Instead of a king

Who can do as he pleases

They had a republic

Of many smaller cheeses.

Yes, the peasants were the first

Of the modern free-staters.

They made cheeses smaller

And, thus, the cheese grater.

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Dear Internet: Why The Exception?

You can’t mock someone ’cause they’re fat,

Ugly, stupid, stuff like that.

You can’t make jokes about a race

(At least not to somebody’s face).

You can’t gay-bash, slut-shame, or mock

The way one laughs or thinks or talks.

But you can defame or spew hate at

Those with neckbeards or a fedora hat.

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I Am The Paladin Of Unpopular Opinions: Hear Me Speak Semi-Audibly 

I hate to say, but modern times

Have brought to bear such modern crimes

As the thought that changing what we call bad things

Will make them fly away on silver wings.

Amidst PC culture’s genital diminution  

I seek to find an ancient solution

Because I doubt folks in Pompeii

Said “That eruption’s a hot social event for the end of your day!”

Some say the truth will set you free,

That the ultimate good is reality.

I like to think those things are true,

But no one told the local SJW.

So I’ll just be honest on this, my blog

To cut through society’s “minimally exceptional” fog.

And if you get offended by hearing what’s true

I bet there’s a polite alternative name out there for you.

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How I Read Political Posts

Today elected people

Did a thing I think is bad

And I want all my contacts

To be upset that I am sad.

I want my friends and followers

To hear my text-based whine.

If you’re not sympathetic

Then an argument’s also fine.

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Somewhere In Texas

Somewhere in Texas

The gray clouds were parted,

Children didn’t comment

Even though someone farted,

A lone sunbeam broke

Through the sky, dark and wild,

And pond’ring his legacy

George W. smiled.

Somewhere in Texas

The dogs stopped their barking.

The deserts had rain

And the cities had parking.

And in the un-droughted sunbeamy parking lot

Sat an ex-executive dope,

No longer most hated

Or so he would hope.

Somewhere in Texas

A prairie dog sits.

It eats when it’s hungry

And afterwards… you know.

That rodent posts nothing

On Facebook today

And if we are lucky

Our friends will be the same way.

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A Limerick For When You’re The Only Right-Winger In Your Social Group

If you think something’s funny

You are right

Unless it deals with pol’tics

And you’re white

In which case you’d best not laugh

For it might be a social gaffe

(But if you voted Bernie you’re alright).

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