Tag Archives: Politics

Irony’s Trump Card

People on the street

Waving Confederate flags

Say “You lost, move on.”

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False-Rape Culture

The marriage rate is going down

And many tears are falling.

The good men left and left behind

Some eyes bloodshot from bawling.

Men no longer mentor

Any women that they pay

Because they fear the power

Of what said women might say

And smart men will no longer talk

To strangers in a skirt

‘Cause they’re one false “j’accuse” away

From sleeping in the dirt.

Cats think that this circumstance

Is surely heavensent:

They live with 30-something women

Whose exes pay the rent.

Meanwhile the men rebuild themselves

From fighters into monks

And leave the chasing women

To the inner-city punks.

The West now walks on eggshells.

There is no doubt about it:

The feminists have made their beds

And now they lie about it.

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And Hark! He Said “Thou Cannot Reason With These People”

If we elected God himself

To lead the USA

Half of us would disapprove

Because he’s anti-gay.

Another half would criticize

The way his job was done

And make memes calling him socialist:

“Loaves and fishes for everyone!”

His “love your neighbor” policy

Would, by nationalists, be despised.

We’d call him dumb to design an ark

That’s unfeasibly sized.

We’d cry out “Egomaniac”

Because he asks for praise.

We’d complain that since he made time

The weekend should last four days.

Mary’d call him a rapist

After carrying his son

And some would say the Russians

Are the reason that he won.

They’d break the third commandment

Every day within the news

And people would complain

Because he panders to the Jews.

If we made God the president

He’d be called an old white shill,

But for sure his graven image

Would never grace a dollar bill.

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Advice To Passive-Aggressive Discussers Of All Things Political

Instead of intelligent conjecture

Or giving your opponent a lecture…

Just say “Hitler was right”

And boom! Have a fight.

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California, Son

I wish I could go to the beach

Without hearing the word “impeach,”

Could drive my car for quite a while

And go more than a half a mile,

Could say the word “black”

And not draw stares.

It’s where everything matters

But nobody cares.

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Democrats

All white males suck

Because they are prejudiced

Based on race and sex.

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Dear Not-America, Love The U.S. of A

Hello from America,

Where we play real football!

Our dicks are the same size as yours

Although you’re not as tall.

Our women spend more money

And our kids aren’t well-behaved

But we have free tap water

And most of our roads are paved.

We owe your nation money

That we’ll never repay

But we also have lots of nukes

So please do what we say.

Our politicians are all crooks

And most are wimps as well

But we pledge them our allegiance

And pretend that things are swell.

But speaking patriotically

Our country’s still the best

At drinking booze per-capita

And functioning while stressed.

Here’s how you can emigrate

From where you live right now:

Just walk to California

And never leave. Kapow!

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