Tag Archives: Politics

It’s A Mystery!

I don’t get why some folks don’t like me.

I do all the things that they say

Like supporting the wenches and slant-eyes and injuns

And even my cousin who’s gay.

I don’t get why people think I am offensive

When all thems is stupid and fat.

I guess they must envy my skills in the kitchen…

Those Jews don’t know how to cook rat!

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Breaking: Pinocchio Becomes Democratic AND Republican Frontrunner

Geppetto saw the puppet

Come alive one fateful night.

He hardly could contain his pure

Excitement and delight.

He asked, “What is your power?”

To which the toy replied,

“My nose grows when I’m truthful

“And I’ve never, ever lied.”

Geppetto took the puppet

On a tour of the land

And the puppet said, “You’re beautiful”

To all the coarse and bland.

“A gift to puppetmakers

“Will increase your Earthly wealth.”

And so, in awe, they watched the nose

And drank unto his health.

And as the ugly stayed the same,

The poor stayed destitute,

The puppet stayed beloved,

For his word was absolute.

This lesson serves to illustrate

Wherefore in every hour

We ought not correlate the truth

With presence of a power.

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Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood

If you think saying “Spongebob’s gay”

Will make the haters go away

Then I am most inclined to say

You’re stupid and you’re wrong.

If you think that posting signs

And standing tall in protest lines

Will make the “bads” turn into “fines”

I’ll sing a different song.

If you think that making noise

About police and childrens’ toys

And how some girls are really boys

Is going to change a heart

Then I will proudly bear the news:

Insulting those with different views

Won’t stop the “other people” blues,

But listening? There’s a start!

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Now I Have An Excuse Never To Run For Public Office!

Here’s to George,

The man who died,

And in so doing

Showed it’s safe outside

To gather en masse

Without pandemic fears.

May he be remembered

When the next “plague” appears!

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Biden Dirty

They see me Biden,

Debatin’

And rolling their eyes ’cause I’m so far past thirty!

‘Cause I’m just too far past thirty,

‘Cause I’m just too far past thirty,

‘Cause I’m just too far past thirty,

‘Cause I’m just too far past thirty,

I said they ain’t black

Like I’m not

Perhaps ’cause my mind is somewhat less than sturdy!

‘Cause my mind is leas than sturdy,

‘Cause my mind is leas than sturdy,

My mind is less than sturdy…

‘Cause my mind is leas than sturdy!

Sniffin’ the babies just for fun

While I say you don’t need no gun,

Tellin’ how our country’s run,

Then runnin’ my mouth when it’s said and done.

Tara Reade told some news site

What I did back then was not alright,

But poor kids are just as good as the white.

Good thing Bernie backed away from the fight.

Don’t worry if I’ve got some dementia

‘Cause I’ll designate yo job as essentia’.

Sure my kid’s salary’s preferentia’,

But CNN’s sure to bury the stench, duh.

I love having kids sitting on my lap,

I’ll do Zoom campaigns after my next nap,

You’ll vote for me despite this crap.

By the way, what the heck’s an app?

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There’s Still Time To Write-In Chuck Norris…

One world leader said

“Grab ’em by the pussy,”

But got elected anyway.

One would-be leader

Said “Don’t grab ’em by the pussy”

Before he did, so I guess he’s okay?

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If You Don’t Think This Poem Is Ironic, You’re Part Of The Problem

There’s no place for intolerance

Among people I know.

If you’re someone intolerant

Then you had better go.

Intolerance is evil

And if you disagree

Then you should be ashamed

And also learn to think like me!

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We’re Also Live-Streaming Bird Songs And Countable Sheep

This is your local government

Now or pretty soon

Emailing to let you know

That we sanitized the moon.

Looking into space

Will no longer cause disease

So while we cancel everything

Go stargaze as you please.

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The Elites

Who once was an ideologue

Now bears a predacious heart,

A prerequisite for leadership

In politics and art.

Who once fantasized

Is yoked by sponsors unseen,

Separate from the audience

Who now seem unclean.

Who once dreamed of changing

Now for sameness votes,

Repelling their friends,

Trapped within their own moats.

Who is no longer meek

Now learns how and why

The meek inherit nothing

If the elites never die.

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Raucous Caucus Talk

In Iowa approacheth

Democratic circumstances

In which the snollygosters

Can perform their verbal dances,

Each hoping to ensnareth

Those gullible and influential

For they see primary voting

As a big campaign essential.

The maladroits have moseyed

And the minor leaguers drowned

Leaving only malefactors

With the finest lies around

And the lucky folks in Davenport,

Des Moines, and Keokuk

Get to argue first about

Who’s the least likely to suck.

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