Trumpty Dumpty built us a wall.
Trumpty Dumpty polled well in the Fall,
But an army of lawyers, Fox News, and white horses
Couldn’t stop CNN and “Anonymous Sources.”
Tag Archives: Politics
Two American Legends
Yankee Doodle went to town
Riding on a pony.
He stuck a feather in his cap
And called it macaroni.
Yankee Doodle was confused,
Perhaps ’cause of the ridin’,
And his random speech habit
Got picked up by Joe Biden.
Filed under Poems
Giant Meteor: Not A Viable Candidate… Too Likeable
If you say the truth’s important
But you’re lying,
If you say you’re in perfect health
But you’re dying,
If you say you’re a real lady
But you’re a gent
I think you have a shot to be
The US President.
Filed under Poems
If Only His Parents Named Him Neil…
Greg is 17-foot-3,
Runs faster than the eye can see,
And more impressive than Greg’s size is
How Greg’s won four Nobel Prizes.
Greg is just 18 years old.
All Greg touches turns to gold.
Greg’s backstory’s very tragical
Which makes Greg seem even more magical.
Greg declared the other day
Greg wants to play in the NBA.
The coaches laughed ’til they soiled their pants…
Greg once said, “Cops are fine,” so Greg never stood a chance.
Filed under Poems
2021
Deep below, the hipster slugs
Are killing worms and taking drugs
And handing out free slimy hugs
And chanting “Slug Lives Matter.”
High above, against the odds,
Someone applauds the gastropods
And, thinking they are modern gods,
Eat escargot and grow fatter.
Filed under Poems
The Dream MLK Forgot
She showed a sign and shouted
And got up in our faces
Telling us about how white folks
Are the worst of all the races.
The way her spittle spattered
Was a most impressive sight,
My first and last impression
Of a peaceful Portland night.
Filed under Poems
In Recent News…
There once was a Peruvian prince
Who wore a gold pair of nez pince.
He said “I have seen
“Info about Jeff Epstein,”
And no one has heard from him since…
Filed under Poems
It’s A Mystery!
I don’t get why some folks don’t like me.
I do all the things that they say
Like supporting the wenches and slant-eyes and injuns
And even my cousin who’s gay.
I don’t get why people think I am offensive
When all thems is stupid and fat.
I guess they must envy my skills in the kitchen…
Those Jews don’t know how to cook rat!
Filed under Poems
Breaking: Pinocchio Becomes Democratic AND Republican Frontrunner
Geppetto saw the puppet
Come alive one fateful night.
He hardly could contain his pure
Excitement and delight.
He asked, “What is your power?”
To which the toy replied,
“My nose grows when I’m truthful
“And I’ve never, ever lied.”
Geppetto took the puppet
On a tour of the land
And the puppet said, “You’re beautiful”
To all the coarse and bland.
“A gift to puppetmakers
“Will increase your Earthly wealth.”
And so, in awe, they watched the nose
And drank unto his health.
And as the ugly stayed the same,
The poor stayed destitute,
The puppet stayed beloved,
For his word was absolute.
This lesson serves to illustrate
Wherefore in every hour
We ought not correlate the truth
With presence of a power.
Filed under Poems
