Tag Archives: Politics

For Those Who Missed The Metaphor, The Dragon Is Poverty

The dragon was coming

To Farawayshire

To eat many virgins

And breathe lots of fire.

The lord of the town said

“‘Fraid of dragons we aint,

“For I have procured us

“A fireproof paint!”

And so people painted

The roofs and the walls

Or the houses and stables

And castles and malls

Until the Lord said

With the smallest of sneezes,

“Cease painting at once

“For it causes diseases.”

The paint, it so happened

Did cause minor distress

To persons named Remington,

Fleischmann, and Hess.

Those with such names

Of course caused quite a fuss

While the rest of the town

Wondered, “What about us?

“The dragon is coming!

“How will we survive?

“Sure, a few will be sickened

“But we’ll be alive!”

The mayor just laughed

And he said with a tsk…

“What’s a few teeth and fire

“When our health is at risk?”

And, for some reason, this

Made the citizens calm

And await coming dragons

With nary a qualm.

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If America Were A Game

Hey there Trump

And hey there Biden!

Joe will be seekin’

And Don will be hidin’.

Don tuns away

And Joe starts to count…

“One, two, three-hundred-thousand

“Or something… an amount.

“Ready or not,

“Here I come.”

OMG, Don’s not hidden…

He must be dumb.

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A Bit of Hot Air

I used a hand dryer

In the public restroom

After I went to the beach.

I expected it

To dry my hands,

But it delivered a political speech.

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Happy Election Day!

Today, America extends a query

To test the ever-popular theory

And forever end the debate

About whether love is stronger than hate.

We’re given two men with no virtues to note

And told it’s important to go out and vote.

One choice is to vote that you love Barron’s dad,

Or else just to vote that you think “Orange Man Bad.”

As for the white guy who’ll earn half the votes

Who creeps people out and has quotable quotes…

One guy will win, half the nation will cry,

And celebrities still won’t move to Canada… sigh.

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And Yet We Keep Voting For Them…

Politicians are like a bag of chips

That appear to be mostly air

But then they take the chips away

And say “You’re healthy now. See? I care!”

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Democracy… Please?

I think a million-dollar income

Is an inalienable right

For everyone within an inch

Of six-foot-O in height,

And that all of those people

Should be worshipped as Gods

And based on modern politics

Such a change has decent odds…

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Mixed Messages (AKA The Power of Marketing)

I read a few websites today

And thought I’d share a list

Of just a few quotations

That I now know exist.

The following will not be rhymed

Because they’re exact quotes;

The twist shall be revealed in time

So no need to take notes:

“We fight for clarity and truth telling. We fight for a world that we want our children to live in.”

“We also promote an aggressive search for and use of non-polluting and clean energy sources such as solar, wind, and clean fossil fuels.”

“We respect the right of homeowners and that no one should ever be forced from their home for the non payment of taxes.”

“We support all U.S. veterans. We should find those that are missing and take care of those who have come home.”

“We affirm our humanity, our contributions to this society, and our resilience in the face of deadly oppression.”

“We declare freedom is humanity’s highest ideal, and no cost is too great to ensure liberty and justice.”

“We disrupted business as usual and impacted the world. Thank you to our organizers, our supporters, and our allies.”

“We have fought like hell for our freedom and we will continue to fight like hell. Because we deserve more than we have been given. Because we deserve the healing and the transformation and most importantly we deserve to be free.”

So who are these idealists

Who write impassioned pleas

With hope that everyone will know

The world their author sees?

Some are from “Black Lives Matter.”

The rest are from the KKK.

One of them I just made up,

So happy research day!

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Who Else Watched The Debate?

“Roses are red!”

“No! Violets are blue!”

“That’s a lie!”

“Shut up!” “F*** you!”

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American Political Redux

Trumpty Dumpty built us a wall.

Trumpty Dumpty polled well in the Fall,

But an army of lawyers, Fox News, and white horses

Couldn’t stop CNN and “Anonymous Sources.”

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Two American Legends

Yankee Doodle went to town

Riding on a pony.

He stuck a feather in his cap

And called it macaroni.

Yankee Doodle was confused,

Perhaps ’cause of the ridin’,

And his random speech habit

Got picked up by Joe Biden.

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