Tag Archives: Politics

Dear Internet: Why The Exception?

You can’t mock someone ’cause they’re fat,

Ugly, stupid, stuff like that.

You can’t make jokes about a race

(At least not to somebody’s face).

You can’t gay-bash, slut-shame, or mock

The way one laughs or thinks or talks.

But you can defame or spew hate at

Those with neckbeards or a fedora hat.

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I Am The Paladin Of Unpopular Opinions: Hear Me Speak Semi-Audibly 

I hate to say, but modern times

Have brought to bear such modern crimes

As the thought that changing what we call bad things

Will make them fly away on silver wings.

Amidst PC culture’s genital diminution  

I seek to find an ancient solution

Because I doubt folks in Pompeii

Said “That eruption’s a hot social event for the end of your day!”

Some say the truth will set you free,

That the ultimate good is reality.

I like to think those things are true,

But no one told the local SJW.

So I’ll just be honest on this, my blog

To cut through society’s “minimally exceptional” fog.

And if you get offended by hearing what’s true

I bet there’s a polite alternative name out there for you.

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Filed under Poems, To the Reader

How I Read Political Posts

Today elected people

Did a thing I think is bad

And I want all my contacts

To be upset that I am sad.

I want my friends and followers

To hear my text-based whine.

If you’re not sympathetic

Then an argument’s also fine.

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Somewhere In Texas

Somewhere in Texas

The gray clouds were parted,

Children didn’t comment

Even though someone farted,

A lone sunbeam broke

Through the sky, dark and wild,

And pond’ring his legacy

George W. smiled.

Somewhere in Texas

The dogs stopped their barking.

The deserts had rain

And the cities had parking.

And in the un-droughted sunbeamy parking lot

Sat an ex-executive dope,

No longer most hated

Or so he would hope.

Somewhere in Texas

A prairie dog sits.

It eats when it’s hungry

And afterwards… you know.

That rodent posts nothing

On Facebook today

And if we are lucky

Our friends will be the same way.

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A Limerick For When You’re The Only Right-Winger In Your Social Group

If you think something’s funny

You are right

Unless it deals with pol’tics

And you’re white

In which case you’d best not laugh

For it might be a social gaffe

(But if you voted Bernie you’re alright).

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The Internet Circa November 2016

You know when you lose

And you feel pretty lame

But you shake hands

And tell your partner “good game?”

I hope that you don’t

Because that old-fashioned crap is dead.

Losing is for losers.

Inaugurate Bernie instead!

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A Sneak Peek At Poems From My Upcoming Senate Campaign

You may have both heard

I can’t be bothered

To write funny poems

Before evening’s chill.

I’d like to address

To the question, and yes

I will address it

Although first I will

Bring to your sense

The problems immense 

That plague creativity

Such as lack of caffeine,

An unhealthy diet

(Though I’d urge you to try it),

And a sleep cycle deadly

To the health of one’s spleen.

These matters now raised

The establishment praised

Solutions that will not

These problems make right.

My plans will be different.

Now what was the question?

You don’t even remember.

With that said, good night!

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