Tag Archives: Politics

American Political Redux

Trumpty Dumpty built us a wall.

Trumpty Dumpty polled well in the Fall,

But an army of lawyers, Fox News, and white horses

Couldn’t stop CNN and “Anonymous Sources.”

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Two American Legends

Yankee Doodle went to town

Riding on a pony.

He stuck a feather in his cap

And called it macaroni.

Yankee Doodle was confused,

Perhaps ’cause of the ridin’,

And his random speech habit

Got picked up by Joe Biden.

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Giant Meteor: Not A Viable Candidate… Too Likeable

If you say the truth’s important

But you’re lying,

If you say you’re in perfect health

But you’re dying,

If you say you’re a real lady

But you’re a gent

I think you have a shot to be

The US President.

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If Only His Parents Named Him Neil…

Greg is 17-foot-3,

Runs faster than the eye can see,

And more impressive than Greg’s size is

How Greg’s won four Nobel Prizes.

Greg is just 18 years old.

All Greg touches turns to gold.

Greg’s backstory’s very tragical

Which makes Greg seem even more magical.

Greg declared the other day

Greg wants to play in the NBA.

The coaches laughed ’til they soiled their pants…

Greg once said, “Cops are fine,” so Greg never stood a chance.

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2021

Deep below, the hipster slugs

Are killing worms and taking drugs

And handing out free slimy hugs

And chanting “Slug Lives Matter.”

High above, against the odds,

Someone applauds the gastropods

And, thinking they are modern gods,

Eat escargot and grow fatter.

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The Dream MLK Forgot

She showed a sign and shouted

And got up in our faces

Telling us about how white folks

Are the worst of all the races.

The way her spittle spattered

Was a most impressive sight,

My first and last impression

Of a peaceful Portland night.

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In Recent News…

There once was a Peruvian prince

Who wore a gold pair of nez pince.

He said “I have seen

“Info about Jeff Epstein,”

And no one has heard from him since…

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It’s A Mystery!

I don’t get why some folks don’t like me.

I do all the things that they say

Like supporting the wenches and slant-eyes and injuns

And even my cousin who’s gay.

I don’t get why people think I am offensive

When all thems is stupid and fat.

I guess they must envy my skills in the kitchen…

Those Jews don’t know how to cook rat!

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Breaking: Pinocchio Becomes Democratic AND Republican Frontrunner

Geppetto saw the puppet

Come alive one fateful night.

He hardly could contain his pure

Excitement and delight.

He asked, “What is your power?”

To which the toy replied,

“My nose grows when I’m truthful

“And I’ve never, ever lied.”

Geppetto took the puppet

On a tour of the land

And the puppet said, “You’re beautiful”

To all the coarse and bland.

“A gift to puppetmakers

“Will increase your Earthly wealth.”

And so, in awe, they watched the nose

And drank unto his health.

And as the ugly stayed the same,

The poor stayed destitute,

The puppet stayed beloved,

For his word was absolute.

This lesson serves to illustrate

Wherefore in every hour

We ought not correlate the truth

With presence of a power.

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Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood

If you think saying “Spongebob’s gay”

Will make the haters go away

Then I am most inclined to say

You’re stupid and you’re wrong.

If you think that posting signs

And standing tall in protest lines

Will make the “bads” turn into “fines”

I’ll sing a different song.

If you think that making noise

About police and childrens’ toys

And how some girls are really boys

Is going to change a heart

Then I will proudly bear the news:

Insulting those with different views

Won’t stop the “other people” blues,

But listening? There’s a start!

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