For some it is abortion,
Gun rights, free speech, or war;
For others, immigration
Decides who you’re voting for.
I think an underrated issue
That would influence my vote
Is your opinion on the legality
Of building your own moat.
Tag Archives: Politics
UK, Past and Future
Back in 1776
The British government
Oppressed its people oh so much
That they off seceding they went.
Now 250 years later
The British somehow find
New things to ban or punish,
Now including the human mind.
In another century or so
When Mars has human dwellers
We’ll see the Union Jack flying
And many space-suitless dwellers
Because the British government
Will long since have outlawed breathing
But the beating hearts and smiles
Will leave the Martian rulers seething.
Then millions of miles away in space
The British will finally see
That the time has come to pull the plug
And finally outlaw tea.
Filed under Poems
Their Legacy Lives On
The upside of old soldiers
In the abs and armor era
Having kids when they were 15
Is that they’d ensure they’d share a
Portion of their DNA
Despite dying in war
Because the guys who choose the front lines
Were rarely 24.
As a result, some children
Are descendants of the guys
Who ran headfirst into battle
Despite their lackluster size,
Their lack of wealth or breeding,
Their dearth of brawn or brain,
Exhibiting no hesitance
For their inevitable pain.
A dozen generations passed
And still their genes live on,
Ensuring the survival
Of their service-minded spawn.
My only wish is that these offspring
With mind and courage of a beast
Would stop running for office
(Or stop winning, at least).
Filed under Poems
Maybe If We Got One Of Those Video Games The Kids Like And Put Guns In It? Have We Tried That Yet?
I’m not so concerned about politicians
With approval rates at historical lows.
Instead I’m concerned that armed rebellion
Is still unpopular, but hey, that’s how it goes.
Filed under Poems
Introducing Your 2028 President Elect
I do not know the muffin man.
I really don’t know nothing, man.
All I know is muffin man
Repeats things, so I’m told.
I’ll tell you of the muffin man
Since you’re no fan of muffin man.
You’ll hear repeats by muffin man
‘Cause the teleprompter’s old.
Filed under Poems
Dream Bigger, America!
Democrats are donkeys.
Republicans are elephants.
Libertarians are porcupines.
All this makes very little sense;
If a party chose a mascot
Like a dragon or a sphinx
They’d win every election
(Or so this poet thinks).
Filed under Poems
The Mighty Nine
They graded us with letters,
Best to worst, or “A” through “E“,
And they assigned a “Mighty Nine”
To define what an “A” could be.
The Mighty Nine were to refine
Our fine society
But none of the nine turned out to be
Much better than a “C”.
So “E”s and “D”s, eager to please
The Mighty Nine did strive
Not for a ten-star effort
But settled for a five
While the “A”s and “B”s exceeded
What the Mighty Nine could do
And thus were graded out of ten
Merely a one or two.
Meanwhile, they, the many “C”s
Who chose the Mighty Nine,
Smiled at the system
Which, to them, was mighty fine
And the “A”s and “B”s quit trying
And the “D”s and “E”s died out
And the Mighty Nine, all smiling,
Redefined what life’s about.
The Mighty Nine were models
Of what every “A” should be
But, seized by “C”s, became diseased
With mediocrity.
So cautious be of leaders
Who are mirrors of their peers
Or else the Mighty Nine will reign
Another ninety years.
Filed under Poems
The Only Kong Will Be Donkey
Some people want no kings
But I don’t think that’s proper
‘Cause when I feel hungry
I want to eat a Whopper.
I like Californian sports teams
And extra-roomy beds,
Good poker hands and Aragorn
And Starks who are also Neds.
A bunch of schools will have to change
Their mascots. Other things
Will cause unexpected results
If we really have no kings.
Filed under Poems
No Change Is Good Change?
Thanks to a heroic protest
With an anti-monarchical request
I’m happy to say
That as of today
No kings have, our freedom, transgressed.
Filed under Poems
Congressional Privilege
So we can’t pay employees
Who keep on working hard
Despite a shut-down government
With a maxed-out credit card
And yet we pay the people
Who got us in this mess
With money that we do not have?
‘Murica, I guess…
Filed under Poems
