You probably didn’t think
That evidence you’d find
To elect a Pokémon,
But I hope to change your mind:
So if you are American
(Or not, we don’t really check)
Vote Meowth 2020
‘Cause hey! What the heck?
Advertisements
Tag Archives: Politics
Socialism: Free Trial Edition
If you’re tired of Trump
Then make the jump
To sunny Venezuela!
There you can shirk
And do no work
And the socialist state will pay ya!
You’ll save so much money
It isn’t funny
‘Cause there’s nothing for sale to buy
So if you bite your thumb
‘Cause there’s no food to bum
You can tell South America “hi.”
Filed under Poems
Al Capone, Libertarian
I ask you now to wonder
On the act of taking plunder
And on pirate-like behavior as a whole:
How does someone with a flag
Holding out a taxman’s bag
Compare to vagrants charging travelers a toll?
And what of other you’s and me’s
Traveling on the seven seas
When a Jolly Roger pulls their cannon out
And says “give us what you’ve got
“Or you’ll probably get shot.”
That’s what piracy and taxes are about!
Now sure, our brand of takers
Cheer beside you for the Lakers
And send you notes before they pull their gun
But they are not made less like Smeagol
Just because their theft is legal
And their pre-audit demeanor is more fun.
I’m not afraid to call BS
On our nation’s IRS.
Now excuse me, for I must go on the run.
A Diatribe On The State Of Political Upheaval In Western Civilization
The incidences of protests
Inversely correlate
With the cost of protest signs
And whether people have a date.
Filed under Poems
Diversity
I told my family that I’m gay.
They said “No problem, that’s okay.”
I told them next that I do drugs.
They said “Let us give you hugs.”
I said I like to eat poo.
They said “We’re always here for you.”
I told them I voted for Trump.
They said “Kill yourself you nazi asshole.”
Filed under Poems
Christmas In Cascadia
We the people laugh and sing
Though our houses serve as graves
To the offspring of the forests
And the farms of evergreen slaves.
We hang lights on the bodies
Of the trees we cut ourselves
And celebrate the sootiness
Of indentured arctic elves.
Our celebration is offensive
To terrorists a world away
Thus to mention “Merry Christmas”
Means you’re probably anti-gay.
So just say “Happy Holidays,”
And smile and submit
So folks who think this poem is serious
Will not have a fit.
Filed under Poems
Irony’s Trump Card
People on the street
Waving Confederate flags
Say “You lost, move on.”
Filed under Poems
