Tag Archives: Politics

The Problem With Democracy (My Perspective Matters More)

“Do you see what I see”

Is a stupid thing to ask,

For though the subject we both see

May be a boot or flask

I see it in the sunset

Flanked by gorgeous fall of night

But by virtue of an angle

You see it framed by walls of white.

I can see what you see

And you can see what I.

We can say “that is a boot”

Though we each use a different eye.

So why not on social matters

Cannot we likewise more agree

That if a thing’s more beautiful

To you than ’tis to me

That the thing itself objectively

Is, regardless, unaffected?

Because it doesn’t help dividers

Unite short-sight to get elected.


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My Feelings On Peaceful Protest

There is no force that’s stronger,

No emotion that’s more real,

Than the utter nothingness

Your complaining makes me feel.

There’s nothing within my heart,

Through whose beating I live,

More mighty than the many fucks

I really do not give.

Some see your signs and wonder

And some your cause will join.

I think “wait or hit the gas?”

Then smile and flip a coin.

So if you feel like marching

There’s at least one who won’t sway

And if you see a Ford Ranger

You’d be wise to move away.


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Seriously, Look It Up People!

Nixon heard of the Laffer curve

And thought it was a joke.

Reagan heard of the Laffer curve

And said “that’s why we’re broke!”

Obama heard of the Laffer curve

And asked “what did you smoke?”

Trump heard of the Laffer curve

And said “this is bigly woke!”

Most of you heard of the Laffer curve

For the first time just now,

You don’t know what it is

Or how it affects your chow.

So please look up the Laffer curve

So as to be better informed

And we can get to fixing

All the folks who’ve been social-normed.

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Somehow Rising Oceans Didn’t Show Up Either… Huh

29.34 percent of deaths

Were caused by heart disease.

23.04 were infections and

Parasitic causes (like fleas).

Cancer’s 12.49, stroke’s 9.66.

The next 20or so’s respiratory.

Then we get into small CoD’s

And a more interesting story:

War caused just .3 percent

Of death in recent times,

About the same as syphilis

And less than a third that of violent crimes.

More people died of tetanus

Than a decade of endless war.

You’ll more likely die of suicide

Than fighting on a distant shore.

And too low to show up,

Beneath .06 percent

I’m wondering where all the deaths

From firearm ownership went.


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Political Philosophy 101

Sometimes a thought

Is not what it ought,

A fact that, alas, you can’t change.

But type it in bold

And voila! Behold

It’s still pointless, but I had you going for a while.

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The History Of Feminism

Once there was an open sky,

Then the humans came on by.

They said “freedoms a pain in the ass,”

And thus were born kings and the ceiling of glass.

This order remained for centuries

Until the women said “ah jeez.”

They got mad and up they spoke

Until, at last, the ceiling broke.

Somewhere then along the line

When everything was going fine

The newly freed hankered for more

And so they made a new glass floor.

They made the men upon it stand

While together chicks did band

And told the men “call us lovely and dear

“And say we’re perfect, BUT BE SINCERE!”

And so the men did as they were tasked

And said the things the women asked,

But alas, that wasn’t good enough.

And so was born the third-wave stuff.

And now the men stand on a cracked glass floor.

One misstep and they’ll step no more.

This poem’s moral must be stressed:

Women are still the ones oppressed.

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Egomaniacs Have Pronouns Too!

If you don’t want to hear

Someone say “him” or “her”

I’ll be okay

And I’ll probably say “sure.”

But why won’t you respect

My wishes when I

Ask to be referred to

As “thee most glorious and high?”

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