Tag Archives: Politics

DC Smoothies: Now Made With 100% Sustainably Harvested Peasant Tears

It is a truth we find self-evident

That the people who make the laws

Are the type to drink turtle smoothies

With biodegradable straws.

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I’d Take JarJar Binks At This Point

Obi-Wan Kenobi is our only hope

But will he run for president?

Another year of “nope”.

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24 Hours Of Visibility And The Whole System Collapses…

I think for one day a year

All taxes should be ignored

And you’ll see how gas is a dollar less

And your check is twenty percent more

And as you drive your car on roads

With a single pothole, wonder

Why do we support “our side” so much

When both sides keep sucking us under?

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Can I Be A Director Of Something Now?

Sometimes I look back and wonder

“Why didn’t I spend more time studying

“How to write mission statements?”

Then I assemble a committee to discuss

Whether retrospection is amenable

To well-ordered, politically-correct society:

Results pending.

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Give Me The Change You Want To See

You know how when you want to watch

A YouTube video

And just when it gets to the good part

The talent starts to show

An ad for “Raid: Shadow Legends”

Or some other mobile game

And you just skip ahead because

You think the ad is lame?

Well, that’s basically the state

Of politics today:

Companies sponsor actors

And we look the other way.

So if you want to change the world

Don’t buy Pfizer or Walmart.

Instead, please spend your hard-earned cash

On poetry to start!

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I Miss The 90’s

I remember when beer was manly

And women played women’s sports

And the internet had telephone cords

And kids went outside to build forts…

When a penny bought a tootsie roll

And a handshake was a deal

But nowhere in my memory

Were the politicians real.

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My Dirt On The Clintons

Once, a president under duress

Confessed to a great deal of stress.

‘Twas beyond his reach

To deliver a speech

So he gave out an email address.


There was a political genius

Who possessed such a marvelous keenness.

He’d be more beloved, except

His PR was inept

On the point of interns and his penius.

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Burning Flags

Many a child was inspired by a flag

To leave home on a bus and return in a bag,

To struggle and clash with another boy who

Was raised by a flag without red, white, or blue.

It may be a purpose to live under fire

Until you return or in glory expire,

But I seek a purpose where no flags will fly

And a world where no child is inspired to die.

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Propaganda and Truth

An all-knowing fellow told the whole story,

Every secret, every detail,

But there was no crowd, no backers or profit

So truth was revealed but to no avail.

When spoken too slowly its skipped;

If spoken too quickly its not understood;

If frankly presented, forgotten;

If theatrically, laughed at, no good.

A fellow can tell the whole story

But regardless the truth will stay true.

And sometimes to listen and be open-minded

Is the best you can possibly do.

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State of the Union Reaction

I think everything should be free

‘Cause I saw a speech on TV.

I’m glad that the rich

Agree they’re our bitch

And they’ll buy my whole wishlist for me!

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