Tag Archives: Politics

November, 2020

You probably didn’t think

That evidence you’d find

To elect a Pokémon,

But I hope to change your mind:

So if you are American

(Or not, we don’t really check)

Vote Meowth 2020

‘Cause hey! What the heck?

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Socialism: Free Trial Edition

If you’re tired of Trump

Then make the jump

To sunny Venezuela!

There you can shirk

And do no work

And the socialist state will pay ya!

You’ll save so much money

It isn’t funny

‘Cause there’s nothing for sale to buy

So if you bite your thumb

‘Cause there’s no food to bum

You can tell South America “hi.”

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Al Capone, Libertarian

I ask you now to wonder

On the act of taking plunder

And on pirate-like behavior as a whole:

How does someone with a flag

Holding out a taxman’s bag

Compare to vagrants charging travelers a toll?

And what of other you’s and me’s

Traveling on the seven seas

When a Jolly Roger pulls their cannon out

And says “give us what you’ve got

“Or you’ll probably get shot.”

That’s what piracy and taxes are about!

Now sure, our brand of takers

Cheer beside you for the Lakers

And send you notes before they pull their gun

But they are not made less like Smeagol

Just because their theft is legal

And their pre-audit demeanor is more fun.

I’m not afraid to call BS

On our nation’s IRS.

Now excuse me, for I must go on the run.

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A Diatribe On The State Of Political Upheaval In Western Civilization

The incidences of protests

Inversely correlate

With the cost of protest signs

And whether people have a date.

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Diversity

I told my family that I’m gay.

They said “No problem, that’s okay.”

I told them next that I do drugs.

They said “Let us give you hugs.”

I said I like to eat poo.

They said “We’re always here for you.”

I told them I voted for Trump.

They said “Kill yourself you nazi asshole.”

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Christmas In Cascadia

We the people laugh and sing

Though our houses serve as graves

To the offspring of the forests

And the farms of evergreen slaves.

We hang lights on the bodies

Of the trees we cut ourselves

And celebrate the sootiness

Of indentured arctic elves.

Our celebration is offensive

To terrorists a world away

Thus to mention “Merry Christmas”

Means you’re probably anti-gay.

So just say “Happy Holidays,”

And smile and submit

So folks who think this poem is serious

Will not have a fit.

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Irony’s Trump Card

People on the street

Waving Confederate flags

Say “You lost, move on.”

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