Tag Archives: Internet

Guess What I Did This Afternoon!

When arguing online you do

Your foe may fail to convince you,

May reject logic, spew rhetoric,

And end up looking pathetic,

May cite false studies, make up a fact,

Surrender any façade of tact,

May display no virtue and every sin,

But alas, my friend, you still won’t win. 

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The Internet Circa November 2016

You know when you lose

And you feel pretty lame

But you shake hands

And tell your partner “good game?”

I hope that you don’t

Because that old-fashioned crap is dead.

Losing is for losers.

Inaugurate Bernie instead!

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I’ll Probably Just End Up Unsubscribing Anyway…

There is a website 

That hands out free money,

Feeds hungry children,

And makes dreams come true.

I didn’t go there.

I’d have to make an account

And I’ve too many passwords

Already. Don’t you?

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Vive L’Internet!

It’s 41 Farenheit

Outside my room.

It would be warm in Alaska

And cold in Khartoum.

In my car, my spedometer

Says 73.

That’s slow if you’re metric

But fast if you’re me.

Lots of life’s relative;

Could be good, could be bad,

But at least we agree

There’s arguments to be had!

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As Seen On Youtube

Have you ever been walking,

Not thinking at all,

When you look up

And in love you fall?

I almost did

At 10:30 today,

Except that stupid pole

Got in the way.

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Meet the New Internet…

I got a satellite dish
For the internet,
But when it rains
My connection goes.

So I sit and wish
It would come back,
Wondering what happens
When it snows.

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Top 5 Super Villains Of Our Time

5:  Spider Man

Well, yes, he is a hero.

That is good and well,

But this is spidey’s evil twin,

And like spiders, he’s scary as hell!

 

4:  The Licenser

The Licenser is an insidious one.

He makes you wait in line.

He restricts your access to cars and guns

And he also makes you wait in line.

(Did I mention the waiting in line thing)?

 

3:  The Pizza Delivery Boy Killer

No, he doesn’t kill delivery boys.

He eviller than that.

He poisons the pizzas you order in

With carbohydrates and saturated fat.

 

2:  The Baby

Loud, obnoxious, and stinky,

It’s a villain with a potent defense:

You cannot kill a baby.

That’s just common courtesy.  Such is the pretense.

 

And Finally:

 

1:  The Internet

It’s said that most Americans

Are on the web 2.5 hours a day.

That’s 9.6 percent of your life.

Let me put it this way:

 

If you live to be one hundred years old,

You’ll only live to be 90.

Don’t believe me?  Well look at your screen.

You’re on the internet, and it’s kicking your hiney.

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