Tag Archives: Real Estate

Rental Property In A College Town

So you’re in need of housing

And you’re the budget-concious type, right?

Well I’ve got an arrangement

That will surely have you swipe right!

Now, first impressions matter

But second chances matter more

So don’t pass too harsh a judgement

Just ’cause it doesn’t have a door.

The walls have unique colors

But all’s not what it seems.

Some folks don’t think it looks at all

Like puke and shattered dreams.

If you’re one who likes hunting

But like to stay inside the walls

You can satisfy both longings

With wild game that roams the halls.

When it rains you won’t need faucets.

When its hot a breeze comes in.

When it’s cold you’ll make a fire,

Which in my book is a win.

So if your shattered ego

Is numb enough to stay

You’ll get the cheapest rent in town:

A thousand bucks a day!

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Every House Has A Silver Icing

I live in a really disgusting house.

It’s sticky and melts in the rain

And when wild animals chew on my walls

Baking them again is a pain.

I can’t stand my gumdrop garden

And it draws human children like crack.

At least the kids, while noisy and rude,

Can make for a pretty good snack.

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The Sequel

Thirty years after the events
Of the movie “Home Alone,”
The little kid who starred in it
Must now pick up the phone

And call the bank to bend and scrape
For money to be loaned.
The mortgage guy approves the app,
A trap for our hero.

And so the boy becomes a man
With a house, all on his own.
The title of the sequel is
Of course, “Home: A Loan.”

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