Sometimes you fee like a pop tart,
But sometimes you’re generic toaster strudel.
Sometimes you’re the star of the kennel,
But sometimes you’re a Belgian poodle.
Sometimes you’re the Kleenex
Instead of Kirkland Signature facial tissue.
But on days you feel you’re generic
Know that it’s not a critical issue.
Filed under Poems
Am I the only one
Who’s lonely at night,
Who drinks from the faucet,
Who doesn’t want to fight?
Am I the only one
Whose hot chocolate is made
Without any water
But instead lemonade?
Am I the only one
Whose blowholes get sore
When I inhale the air
That you buy at the store?
If you’re ever unsure
If you’re normal or weird
Know that I’m right there with you
And so is my beard.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 