Tag Archives: Wrestling

She Had A Babyface… He Was One

When you think of rings you think “wedding,”

And you think that a heel is a shoe.

When I think of rings my mind goes to wrestling

And a heel is the guy people boo.

You think that dropkicking somebody is crazy

And I think it’s living the life

And that, my dear lady, is just one of the reasons

You won’t be this wrestler’s wife!

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For Those Who Can’t Wait, There’s Always Wrestling

Today’s a unique day

When tens of millions of men

Are depressed as they begin waiting

To see men in tight pants fighting again.

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The Ballad of Big Jack

I went to see a wrestling match
In Canada last night.
A friend of mine was in the ring
And I love to watch him fight.

And so I drive a lot of miles,
(Which in kilometers is more)
Excited to see the action
I had waited all week for.

Well, sure enough my buddy entered,
400 pounds of strong.
His name was Big Jack Cunningham,
Six feet tall (and wide, and long).

In the other corner of the ring
Stood “Supernatural” Nelson Creed.
He was a caped, intellectual sort
And for victory he had greed.

And so the two began to clash.
The fight was long and hard.
Clotheslines crashed and kicks were dropped
And arms and legs were barred.

And in the end, Big Jack tapped out.
My feelings… They were mixed.
I would have liked to see him win,
But I know the match was fixed.

And so it goes in wrestling shows,
But at least Jack showed the town
That though he fell, they all can tell
He’s just as tall lying down.

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Jungle Moments

Crouching leopard lies in wait.
As the antelope walks by
He flexes his feline muscles
And from his roost does fly.

Alas, he missed the antelope,
An error sufficiently hideous,
And his face hit a tree.
Antelope pinned him for three.
It was submitted to Botswana’s Funniest Videous.

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