When you think of rings you think “wedding,”
And you think that a heel is a shoe.
When I think of rings my mind goes to wrestling
And a heel is the guy people boo.
You think that dropkicking somebody is crazy
And I think it’s living the life
And that, my dear lady, is just one of the reasons
You won’t be this wrestler’s wife!
Today’s a unique day
When tens of millions of men
Are depressed as they begin waiting
To see men in tight pants fighting again.
I went to see a wrestling match
In Canada last night.
A friend of mine was in the ring
And I love to watch him fight.
And so I drive a lot of miles,
(Which in kilometers is more)
Excited to see the action
I had waited all week for.
Well, sure enough my buddy entered,
400 pounds of strong.
His name was Big Jack Cunningham,
Six feet tall (and wide, and long).
In the other corner of the ring
Stood “Supernatural” Nelson Creed.
He was a caped, intellectual sort
And for victory he had greed.
And so the two began to clash.
The fight was long and hard.
Clotheslines crashed and kicks were dropped
And arms and legs were barred.
And in the end, Big Jack tapped out.
My feelings… They were mixed.
I would have liked to see him win,
But I know the match was fixed.
And so it goes in wrestling shows,
But at least Jack showed the town
That though he fell, they all can tell
He’s just as tall lying down.
Crouching leopard lies in wait.
As the antelope walks by
He flexes his feline muscles
And from his roost does fly.
Alas, he missed the antelope,
An error sufficiently hideous,
And his face hit a tree.
Antelope pinned him for three.
It was submitted to Botswana’s Funniest Videous.